Feeling guilty

That’s exactly how I’m feeling right now 😫

@Marcella Da Costa I'm so sorry you are feeling this way but glad it's not just me. It's really tough isn't it 😕

Hi Hun, I experienced the same version of guilt as well, I had my second son when my first was 18 months old. The first year really is exhausting just trying to recover from all the hormonal shifts/birth, newborn stage, sleep, feeding etc so give yourself some grace. Your time will come back, and the house will look good again I promise but just take in the small moments with your kids and try learn to let the other things go. When your 3 month old is older you will start getting back time to do those sensory or outdoor things with your toddler - if connecting over a book or a tv show is going to help you get through the day with a toddler and baby than that’s great! Do what makes you and your kids happy x It does get better - my 3 year old and 18 month old are inseparable now (lots of love and lots of fighting) but the first year was tough.

Same same!! 20 month old and 2 month old. I’m really going through it last week & this week with a ton of different things and I think it’s made the guilt a lot worse. We don’t do screen time just because it seems to make my toddler’s terrible behavior even worse, so it’s really difficult trying to entertain him on top of everything I need to do for the newborn. I think we just need to give ourselves some grace, know it’s probably the hardest bit right now and we’ll get through it.

My biggest advice will be to clear your mind and stay away from social media if you do see lots of content with moms being perfect. No one is and social media, youtubers have increase this expectation that we should be doing this/that.

My best advice is to get toddler to help with the chores and cleaning and that will be quality time as well as some sensory activities. Some of the things I do are give the toddler a spray bottle to clean out glass door while I do dishes. He loves to spray and I don't mind if he doesn't do a good job. If your gonna do floors soon just give them a warm water in a bowl on the floor with some cups to play with and if they make a mess your gonna clean the floors anyways. Hand toddler each piece of clothing to throw in the washing machine, let them pass you clean dishes from the dishwasher, get them a kid friendly knife to help chip veggies. But most of all know that sometimes we need screens to keep sane and that's okay. You sound like you do more than I ever did when mine were that little so go easy on yourself

Oh don’t beat yourself up, what you’re describing is the reality for most with 2under 2. As long as you get toddler out for a bit then that’s a win. At the moment we’re all just surviving lol It will all pay off when they are that little bit older and can okay together. It sounds like you’re doing amazing juggling it all so just be easy on yourself. I’ve felt the same with my newborn I feel like he hasn’t got half the attention I’d like to give as haven’t been doing wake windows like I did with my first. Also currently stuck on sofa hugging the toddler watching busses he’s refused to eat or to nap today dispite trying my best. So just rolling with i. Some days I feel like I’ve nailed it other days like the biggest flop but I have come to terms that’s it’s gonna be this way for a while. Sending love x

@Mayra this is a really good idea. I keep seeing videos of 'what my toddler ate today' and it's all homemade and they eat all of it and I have to remind myself that it isn't a realistic everyday picture.

Thank you so much everyone for your kind words. I definitely focus far too much on what I'm not doing compared to what I actually am x