Would you be annoyed?

Have you said all this to her?

I’d just stop going

I’ve had to start putting my foot down about this too. It’s so much easier for the child-free person to be the one who travels. It doesn’t mess with naps, and you don’t have to pack up a load of toys and spare outfits and baby’s mealtime stuff and so on.

Just say you can’t if she wants to see you she’ll have to come to you xx

Yes and no she maybe doing it as a favour to you so your not providing food or doing the running around of making it cleaning up etc, why don’t you suggest one time you go there next time she come to you and alternate it. My mum comes to mine usually once a week and has dinner she also helps out with after school clubs (gives my daughter one to one) as I have her 50/50 and my other two I have 24/7 then I go to mums once a week or if it’s nice weather (she has garden I don’t)

Tell her how you feel before you explode sounds like you have a lot your dealing with she should be more understanding people don’t know get we would like to have company ( from time to time )

My family do the same and it's a 2 hour journey, I only go to their house if I want to.. If they want to see their granddaughter they know they are always welcome at my house.. but they choose not to so that's on them. I think doing things always for the sake of others, even close family, adds unnecessary stress to your life, it's nice to think of others but always put yourself first xx

My mom’s almost 2 hours away and always wants me to come to her, she has a 5 year old and sometimes a 12 year old depending on the week/weekend. But like I do not want to do that drive, especially the first 6m of my babies life. Not once a month. She rarely comes here and when she does it’s like 30 minutes. Then she wonders why my son barley knows her 🤦🏼‍♀️🤦🏼‍♀️🤦🏼‍♀️

Speak to your mum, she won’t know how you feel unless you tell her .. .

Just say no ....

I would tell her how you feel, she's your mum after all, and you don't want to be annoyed at her because of something you're holding in. I'm sure she would understand if you spoke to her as she probably doesn't have a clue how you're feeling.

I would mention it to her as it seems like a easy adjustment for her

I'd only be annoyed if I'd mentioned it to be an issue already. Is your mum a good cook? Likes to put on a nice lunch for you and thinks she's being nice? Have you told her it's difficult for you financially and with babies' sleep and can she come to you? What has been her response?

Tell her she needs to come to you just be honest and firm x

35 miles is pretty far for lunch

I agree 35 miles is pretty far that's a 45 minute to 1 hour drive. That's how far my MIL lives and we always go see her because she has a phobia of driving on the highway. It can get pretty tiring doing the driving all the time. We only see her every couple months really. I agree with others as well just explain to her it'd be better if she came to your house instead.

Is she cooking a nice lunch for you? Maybe she wants to feed you and the kids as a way of showing love and giving a good meal. She might also think its nice for you to get out of the house without having to spend money at restaurants etc (besides car costs). Talk with her about your stresses, probably just a simple solution.