My husband comes home in a bad mood every evening and it's affecting our relationship.

I am sorry you are going through this. It sounds emotionally draining. Your wellbeing and your child’s wellbeing is crucial. No matter what issues he might be going through, you and your child deserve respect and to feel safe in your home. I guess the question you need to ask yourself is; is he going to change and do you want to stay in that environment? Have you got family or friends you can seek support from?

We live in a state where we know no one and I'm pregnant with our second. Thank you for your help! And for your kindness. It's usually really bad when I'm pregnant and tired or if I've been working that day. I've handed in notice to quit my job to be a sahm so I'm hoping when everything is done before he gets home that things will be different

You really need to seek support are there any help groups? X

So this is kinda new for him? Sounds like his mental health is tanking and he has no emotional regulation skills nor coping mechanisms so he's just lashing out like a Neanderthal. Is he ever not angry? Can you, say, have sex with him, then cuddle, then act all vulnerable and say "you have been really angry a lot of the time and it scares me. It makes me feel genuinely not safe. Are things okay with you?" He needs to actually recognise what he's doing, or he can't change.

I am sorry to hear you’re experiencing this. I have similar issues with my partner at times. It’s very challenging. It sounds like your husband is going through a hard time and isn’t enjoying life. Have you talked to him about it and provided a space to hear his issues? (I fully recognise how hard this is when your plate is already full and you’re frustrated at him for being this way). Does he have a psychologist that he could speak to? Or could you suggest he start a relationship, it begins with a mental health plan at the GP to get the Medicare rebates and a referral. Do you have a psychologist that you could speak to? If not I recommend the same route!

Incognito, do not leave yourself in a position where you are relying on him financially. That could become abusive considering what you have said. It would be incredibly dangerous for you and your child. Do you have people to stay with if you need to leave, even if they are in another state? People who could help you with a hotel/motel stay in your own state or with rent on your own until you are more stable or can move states? Do you have friends in your current state that you could live with temporarily if needed? He sounds emotionally abusive, and you being a SAHM is likely to make that worse, not better. PLEASE organise an escape plan. I'd also have a conversation with him, if you feel safe enough to do so, about how his attitude can't continue. He is affecting your pregnancy due to the stress he is causing you and affecting you emotionally and mentally. Your child is being exposed to it, which isn't ok. Put up boundaries and stick to them. Stay safe, and make an escape plan. Keep us updated, OP!

I have suggested a psychologist, he doesn't want to spend the money. I told him how it made me feel and he made a plan moving forward to take time for himself before going into dad mode after work. I don't feel unsafe with him... he always realises afterwards that he can't feel the anger building up after the event. It's hard because he doesn't understand why he gets angry or anything. Thanks for all your help. It's so hard when I know how I feel and why I feel the way I do and how to communicate it. But he doesn't.

OP, this isn't something he is likely to be able to deal with by himself. He needs to see a doctor to rule things out, and he needs to see a therapist. Based on his actions, this isn't a choice if he wants to protect his family and not have these outbursts. I stand by what I said. Do not put yourself in a position where you can't leave if you need to.