I need to rant about my unofficial MIL. She is pissing me off
She retired early a few months ago and now I think she is bored, she will not leave me alone. She’ll randomly turn up at my house, invite us over every weekend. She’s started coming over to do the washing. I don’t want her washing my underwear, fuck off!! I spoke to my partner about it, saying it’s too much, she constantly turning up, messaging me, taking my eldest out to the park etc and he tells me I should be thankful for the help. Which I get, but it’s getting too much. She come over the other day just sat next to me touching my belly, telling me how she doesn’t understand why I say I’m tired because I don’t look it. Yesterday she came over and asked me how long I’m waiting to start a diet after I’ve given birth, she’s also told me she’ll be over every morning for the next 2 weeks to help out. I don’t want the help, I want her to fuck off. My partner just doesn’t see it
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This actually sounds like a nightmare 😬 your partner needs to have a word with her! If they don't, could you just say that whilst you appreciate the gesture, it's a too much and you'll reach out if you need help with things?xx
Honestly I get why but I feel like she’s doing it because she’s bored more than anything. My partner gets it and if I make up an excuse he’ll happily go along with it. I just need more from him I need him to tell her to go away we’ve got this. But I think he’s to wrapped up in his head and thinks she’s amazing, she’s helping, she’s tidying. She’s giving me a break etc.. I need to speak with him.
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This is really tricky to deal with I’ve been through similar but luckily my husband understands my perspective and is happy to step in and set boundaries where necessary. I’m worried about when baby is here because she doesn’t respect boundaries now never mind when baby is here and I’m off work. I get really annoyed when she does my washing up because a) she does an awful job and b) she puts everything in the wrong place and it drives me mad. Do you need her help in the first few weeks or could you tell your partner that you want some time to settle in with the new baby, let your hormones settle, recover etc and want some space? Also set boundaries like she needs to check before turning up - this is a non negotiable for me. Ultimately you need your partner to understand how you feel first and for him to address it otherwise you risk a row with your MIL which makes it 100x worse!