How much does your husband/partner help with your children?

Define what you mean by help? It’s his child too, my partner doesn’t “help” with his own child, he does what he is supposed to do, what he is responsible for doing.

My brother was like that… it’s not good for family life. Money can always be made but these children need their parents.

Does he need to work that much? That's too much. No one gets to the end of their life and wishes they worked more. They all wish they spent more time with their families and doing things they loved. Also the non primary parent should be doing a lot of parenting when they get home from work regardless of what time they get home.

When he's not at work, I don't feel like the default parent. So I guess that's how much he parents too 🤷🏼‍♀️

Different scenario as I'm a SAHM... But I am also default parent even when dad is home... But he definitely parents and tries to make sure he is involved in our children's world. He priorities us as a family unit. Sure I would prefer more me time than I get but I knew what I was signing up for being a SAHM. When I'm run down he definitely tries his hardest to step up. Before number two we had a hard talk about me needing more assistance with our eldest to make the transition to two easier. He was in a job that was burning him out, he was struggling with that but we didn't want to put our life on hold for expanding our family. But like because it was his job that was burning him out we actively started a job search for another job which didn't burn him out, that had better hours, we put our family time first. And well new job, sure his sometimes stressed but he is more engaged with the kids because work isn't his life 24/7.

So it's like he's not there to do anything from Mon-sat so basically you have a partner for 1 day a week only. Is this really worth how much he's making. I would not agree to this at all. You're a single parent basically with maybe like a grandma or older sibling for one day a week. Sorry this sounds very upfront but that's how I see it

My hubby doesn't 'help' he does his share of helping with our daughter and general home duties,sometimes I need to leave a list because he doesn't think like I do with that stuff but he's generally good at getting things done.

What do you class as help? My hubby works mon-fri 5am - 4.30pm. If going to the gym, he's home between 5.30/6, otherwise home about 5 pm. He takes bub once home and does bedtime put down around 8pm. If im going to gym ill sort dinner during the day. If she wakes before 11 pm ish, he will get up to her. Otherwise, I do. He also works Saturdays or Sundays on rotating weekends. I take on the bulk of the house duties, I'm a sahm, so I just look at it like it's just something I take care of. If I need help with anything, I ask, and he does it.

We have our own business, I wfh during daycare hours, I am currently 29wk pregnant, and we have a 3.5yo. My husband works massive hours 4am-6pm weekdays and half days both weekend days most weekends. He still does what he is supposed to do as a parent. We alternate putting our LO down at bedtime, he cooks breakfast most weekends, and will help where he can with vacuuming/cleaning etc. In saying all that, there are plenty of days where I feel he hasn't done enough and im doing it all, but then I try to remember he is working massive hours, literally doesn't have the time and needs his "me time" too.

I went thru this when my husband worked 12-16 hours per week, 6 days a week and the only day he had off, he had his other kids visiting. It was tough. I also worked 4days a week, done the morning, and night routine, groceries, dinner etc, i done it all. I wanted a second child but i didnt have the energy to have another one. I wasnt sure what to do because i was also mentally drained and feeling alone. My daughter is now 2yrs and 8 months old and hubby quit his job and studies full time. It has been so much better for all of us, more family time, more dinner dates, going out to picnics etc.

My husband works 5 days a week. He leaves at 7.30am so I do morning routine and daycare/school drop off. I work 5 days a week too but I WFH so no commute. That gives me some flexibility. He's home between 4.30 and 5.30. I pick up kids and cook dinner. He will sometimes play with the kids after dinner. He always does bedtime for our oldest. He plays with them on weekends and does a bit of housework.

This is a tricky one but I would also question why & if he needs to work that much and especially on weekends too? Is it his own business, is it the kinda work he’s doing, do you guys financially require it? Considering you are able to manage everything and also work 4 days a week - I feel he could be pulling his weight more as a parent too

My husband used to help out all the time with our son. But he changed jobs recently so now it’s all up to me. He works 2-10.30pm, later if he does over time. I also work 4 days a week, so I get bub up and ready each day, drop him off to nannas or daycare depending on the day, go to work (I work 7-4), pick him up, come home and do bedtime routine then he goes to bed. All before I can even start to cook dinner for myself and for hubby to come home to. Plus all of the other bits and pieces that need doing. Sometimes he will clean the kitchen for me before he goes to work and most mornings he will get up for half an hour and help me with/spend time with Bub because unless the baby wakes up through the night once he’s home, he won’t get to see him at all. He does help on weekends when he’s home.

Same situation with 2 kids. You can do it but it won't be pleasant. You'll definitely be in survival mode. It will be hard if you don't have extra help. I'd recommend part time prek or daycare for your oldest to give yourself a half break with a 2nd.

Thank you all for the responses 💛 I really appreciate it and they have been very helpful. It’s good to know some have much more hands on partners and others are in the same boat as me. Given me lots to consider in my decision to grow our family or not xx