Husbands drinking

Honestly? I think anything that messes with someone's ability to do what they are responsible for needs to be addressed. If he doesn't see that what's he's doing is impacting his responsibility as a father and a husband, you need to have an honest talk about it. If alcohol is the trigger, and he's otherwise a responsible dad, then it may be worth at least bringing up how it affects you and your child, see how he responds to this

Might also be worth speaking with his friend or parents or family about it? See if they see a similar behaviour? Or an intervention, but that might be a bit intense to start with. Perhaps provide examples on how a response impaired parent have been harmful to young kids (like news articles, scare the living daylights out of him lol)

He’s an addict I think and I don’t believe he should be looking after your daughter at all until addressed, for her safety. I don’t have any other advice, I know he looks after her so you can work etc but I honestly don’t think that’s safe. Do you have any other options for childcare?

This is definitely behavior of someone with a substance abuse issue. It doesn't seem like he has a full grasp on the severity. I think you are completely justified in not allowing him to care for your child in these conditions. And I think your husband AND his friend need help.

It sounds like this friend is a bad influence and your husband needs to decide where his priorities lie. He can’t be the friend who drinks til 6am several times a week and the responsible dad at the same time. He’s delusional if he thinks otherwise. You need to sit him down for a serious conversation and remind him he isn’t 18 anymore.

Nope fuck that, wouldn't be leaving my 10 yo with him in those circumstances, never mind my baby! He has a problem which he clearly is in denial about.

I think he needs to choose between his friend or his family. If he can't voluntarily make a choice then you will have to make it for him.

He’s an alcoholic. And needs to address the issue. Until then if you are not comfortable leaving your child with him(which you shouldn’t be) then don’t. I would be looking to remove myself from the situation if he’s not willing to address his addiction.

He sounds like he's never grown up and become a responsible adult. I'd be having some very clear and direct conversations with him about life moving forward and expectations as a parent. If he falls short and is putting our child at risk, he's out.

I wouldn't let him look after your daughter alone until he prives himself responsible. This is a tricky situation as you do not want to argue about it and if you try stopping him seeing his friend he will be more defensive about it. Maybe there is an underlying issue or something he is masking with the alcohol. When he's sober speak to him and confront the issue and see if he has any problems. Then discuss if he only drinks with this friend? If he argues or does not respond to this we'll I would leave him be alone for a few days until he is ready to man up and talk with the intention to change or open up with whatever is bothering him.

So he thinks drinking till 6am and 2 hours sleep and he can look after a baby that's alarming. Maybe talk to him about drinking and responsibilities. It would be ok if he went to bed at a decent hour etc

Ugh I would be fuming. Is this a particularly heavy couple of weeks or is the norm? He’s being incredibly selfish and acting as if he doesn’t have a child or a partner. Once in a while I wouldn’t mind but this is excessive and not fair on you having to pick up the slack. He’s had over a year now of being a dad, you’d think some of it would’ve started to sink in by now. I’d probably skip talking to him today if he’s in a state and address it tomorrow when his heads clearer and he might be more reasonable. But I agree that his attitude to drinking is unhealthy and he needs to get his priorities in order.

You need to talk to him, frankly, and be ready to make some hard decisions/hold boundaries. My father was an alcoholic and today, at 37, my mom, brother and I still take time to process how alcoholism has impacted us as people, and as a family. My mother still carries heavy guilt about not “leaving” sooner. Your daughter, if not now, will remember this. It will have lasting implications. Clearly the friend and him are crutches for each other but even with this friend out of the picture, I am almost sure something else will come up. All to say the matter isn’t to be taken lightly, with a head’s up that he probably won’t take to your concerns or feedback easily. Let alone make any changes. I’m really sorry you are facing this and I hope your conversation with him makes some waves. Keep focused and stay grounded. You are strong, there is support, and always do what is best for you and your daughter. Alcoholism will drive a train through your life if you don’t nip it early.

The answer is that he's not able to effectively function and that fact that he believes he can is an example of impaired judgement. You need a new childcare plan. Urgently. He needs help to stop drinking, or he will not be able to be an adequate or involved father for your child for much longer. I'm so sorry. 💙

The fell asleep parked in the driveway would be a game ender for me. He’d have to go sober and stop seeing this friend or get out. He could have fallen asleep at the wheel or still been drunk while he was driving with your daughter in the backseat. Or left her in there with the window rolled up. Or put her in her car seat incorrectly.