At my wits end

I have a hard time justifying my irritation with my in laws because they are nice to me and my MIL isn’t the typical “no one’s good enough for my son and I’m going to be evil to my DIL just because”. My problem with them started due to their lack of boundaries with my husband. Hes their only child and they’ve been so overbearing to him his entire life. It took my husband meeting me to see how they act isn’t normal. In college, if he didn’t text them and keep a conversation going daily they’d get upset. He drunk texted them one time so they showed up to his college and picked him up when he was at a party. He believes all their behaviors were normal since I guess it’s what he’s used to. When I first started dating him, he would need to text them ALL DAY LONG and ANYTIME he left the house to let them know he got somewhere safely (even if it was 5 min down the road). I’m extremely independent. My mom died when I was 18. I’ve always taken care of myself so this shit drove me crazy. He’s done a lot of work to set boundaries with them but I can’t fucking stand them. Now that my husband and I have a child, they drive me even crazier which I knew would happen. If we visit them, both in laws will immediately run out to our car so they can say hi even though we would be inside seeing them within 1 min. His parents constantly say how they NEED to bond with my daughter and they’ll make subtle comments about how my daughter “doesn’t know them”.. they see her once a week usually. It’s just a dig at us not seeing them more. They also say how my daughter needs to bond with their extended family. They don’t leave me the fuck alone. If I’m changing her diaper, they’re FUCKING FOLLOWING ME TO WATCH ME DO IT. If I have to feed her (she gets distracted now by everything so I usually step away), THERE THEY ARE. FOLLOWING ME. They also WILL NOT give my daughter back to me when she’s crying. His mom acts like a baby and his dad treats her like one too. They both kind of do.. she’ll do weird facial expressions to be cute (will do pout faces and his dad will say shit like aw why are you doing boo boo faces and she’ll respond in a baby voice). I can’t even get inside before my MIL is asking if my daughter can come out of her car seat. She’ll stand in front of me while I’m holding my daughter and start pulling on her legs. She’ll then ask if she can hold her but then pass her around to other family. She also won’t fucking stop kissing her and will say “oops it was an accident”. My FIL will then say WHAT? You can’t kiss her?? As he continues to. My husband is back to being kind of blinded by their behaviors. I love him but my irritation for my in laws makes me feel like I could divorce him over it. In the beginning of our relationship, he would choose them over me. That’s changed now but … Jesus. He still texts them good night every single night. ( this is actually a step up from before when he’d need to text good morning and hold a convo with them all day or else they’d cry). I just can’t do it. They’re nice people but the thought of seeing them makes me violently ill. When my husband has tried to set boundaries with them in the past- their reactions are EXTREME. Like “oh we won’t bother you anymore then, you’ll never hear from us again”. Woe is me type bullshit. They also like to throw things that they voluntarily did for us back in his face. It makes my husband feel bad. They treat him like shit when they know their relationship is on the line to guilt him back in. And it works everytime. I’m out of excuses of why I don’t want to see them. I almost don’t even want my daughter (infant) to go see them with my husband alone because I know they’ll be ridiculous. But being around them gives me extreme anxiety. If you made it this far, thank you for listening to a rant. If you can relate to having nice in laws that have 0 boundaries, send help