My Husband and I are growing apart

My husband and I used to have a solid connection with each other. We were best friends and I fully trusted him. Now, we fight more often, he refuses to understand where I’m coming from, gets defensive when I share my feelings, and will sleep in a separate room when we have an argument. He doesn’t try. Days go by before he’s ready to talk. I feel like he is hiding things from me. He just revealed the other day he started taking nicotine pouches a couple of months ago. He quit smoking 4 years ago. He has disregarded my thoughts and feelings on things, but he flips it on me and says I don’t let him have a say in anything, which I don’t believe to be true. I’m pretty relaxed except for a few things here and there. I feel like I’m being gaslit. He even withheld information about his ex recently. I’m losing trust. I noticed the other day he set his messenger to face recognition. I don’t check his phone ever but lately I’ve been having uneasy feelings and that’s what prompted me to try to snoop the other day. He insists he needs two phones. One for work and a personal phone and he doesn’t let our daughter use either of them. He used to not have a problem with this before. My intuition is screaming that something is not right with him.

Show your support

Girl trust ur gut n never let anyone treat you badly

Yeah. He's checked out of this relationship.

Trust your gut! Intuitions amazing . Trust it

There’s a lot to be said when it comes to relationships. They will most likely go through rocky phaseS. I’m not saying you should trust him, but it might not be what you think. I hope you find a way to communicate. But remember that he must also want this.

Sorry for what you going through. Sometimes in marriage couples grow apart is very very important that we know this. However, growing apart does not mean that their problems is just sometimes it’s misunderstood that the other person does not want you anymore. So my suggestion is love him the way you used to love him before you felt like you were growing apart. Ignore the all that he’s doing right now. Be there for him if he brings up a conversation have that conversation with him if he complains that you did something apologize to him. Pour in more love, love him enough and love yourself and ignore him and whatever he’s doing. he’s gonna come around, but if you wanna keep nagging and fighting him and wanting him to be accountable to you and tell you this, and that ,you would just keep pushing him away. Pray hard offer everything to God you will see things turn around. show him more positive and act like you’re not seeing what he’s doing. Change is on the way

I’m just not willing to water myself down anymore. I used to keep my mouth shut, and just go with the flow, but since having kids, I have changed. I deserve to be able to express my thoughts and feelings and they should have value. Many times I’m made to feel like I’m attacking when I am just trying to fix things. When I’m repeatedly shut down about what I think should happen, I feel so undervalued. He doesn’t even come to me before making a decision which prompts me to only react to his decisions instead of us coming to an agreement first. One day my daughter was playing with an inflatable pool toy near my son and she accidentally hit him on the hand, he was fine, was not crying and my mom told her to be careful and she kept playing with the toy. Instead of taking the toy and having a conversation with her, my husband grabbed it and proceeded to hit her multiple times in the face with it. Scared the shit out of her. I jumped to her defense. I couldn’t believe he would do that.

Hmmmm. That’s a lot of red flags girl. Your intuition is definitely telling you something, good for you for listening to it

‌

‌
‌

‌

‌
‌

‌

‌
‌

‌

‌
‌

‌

‌
‌

‌

‌
‌