Tell me what you would do
Hello please let me know what you would do in this position.
When I got married my husband promised never to cheat well I was working with his phone 2years ago and saw some flirty messages with ladies and he denied it and claimed it was before we started living together I let it go and tried to build trust again, few months ago I was on his phone and noticed a message from a lady he met at the store I confronted him about it when I found out he deleted the message he said he was sorry but that he didn’t cheat since he just met her and took her number but that was intent to cheat we had issues for few days and he kept apologizing and promised to help me trust him again. The problem is everytime i noticed he deleted a message i started feeling like it’s a girl, like he is actually cheating and I’m always suspicious of him cheating but it feels weird for me to confront him to ask him what he deleted but i can’t help the way I feel but aside the fact that he have broken my trust twice I do love him as a person he is a kind partner but i can’t trust him anymore how do I get past what have happened and take my mind away from suspecting him and just focus on his good deeds.
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this is not something I would tolerate in the least. I do not believe in second chances. I would make him move out and pay child support
This relationship would be SO over for me. Done. And let me tell you, the biggest red flag to me is that when you married,..he promised not to cheat?! Normal people Don’t do that, because they don’t HAVE to -it’s assumed you were already not cheating in your relationship, and it’s not something you have to check in on?? It’s like Saying “I won’t hit you in the face”. Like ya I figured that, so now I’m concerned..
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Ok the fast that he regularly deletes messages seems like a red flag to me. I literally never delete messages but maybe I’m not typical? Anyways I’m so sorry you’re going through this. I had a rougher time after our son was born and we had some trust issues. We finally started therapy and it’s been such a game changer. It helps us understand each other and why we do the things we do and how to communicate better and prevent future trust issues, etc.