Whole In-Law bunch

I’ve been with my husband for 5 years. We have 3 children together, we are married. Before we got together, he was in a relationship for about 8 years (ON and OFF) - no children and never married. I found out about a year in that he was still looking her up on social media and little things that were inappropriate. We tried to move past it. At 2 years in, I found out she was still calling supposedly asking about an old loan they had in both names. When I stopped it, she showed up at his parents house. AFTER TWO YEARS. My mother-in-law did not do the right thing: to say sorry you have no business here and close the door. She had tea with her or something, and the world will NEVER know what happened. It was discussed but she is still in our lives so. This ex has still been a Thorn in the side about certain things which is ridiculous right!?!? At 5 years?!? And just when my husband and I are really reconnecting and feeling good, we reach out to his family and try to get together again… we go to my sister-in-laws house and there’s an old family photo of all of them (with his ex) on the fridge. They just moved, so it was intentionally put up. When I was in their house and they knew I was coming 2 years ago it wasn’t up there. This was an unexpected trip we just showed up. It shattered me. I broke down and we left right away. My husband is being super supportive and told me I have every right to feel the way I do and he chooses me and he will tell them to F* right off lol. Then his mom tried to tell me to be confident in myself. I said WTF I am! I don’t understand why none of you are confident in me! She kept trying but I ignored her and we left. I didn’t fight or cause a scene. Then his sister messaged me after and said “sorry about the picture. It’s one of the only ones I have with my brothers. I hope we can take some together when you guys come back.” What in the actual f#($ ?!?!?!?!?!? I have forced us to take several pictures altogether as a family since we’ve been together. But ummm Most recently AT OUR WEDDING. Beautiful professional photos of me, my husband, our two living children, and his entire family!!! His mom, grandma, sister & her child, brother, and brothers new fiancé. My mom was the only person from my side because we eloped! Tell me what you think? What would you do? If you think I’m being a bit

amp;, tell me 😅

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Your not they are tripping . I’m sorry girl .

Anyone would think they put that picture up to upset you and sounds like the family are trying to remind you of his ex which is just pathetic because you’re not clearly not going anywhere when your married with 3 children. Glad your husband was supportive

I think the picture thing is odd. Yet the fact her mom had a tea with her is not unappropriate. They certainly shared moment during those 8 years and have a kind of attachment. You can't control the relationship she have the right or not to have. My partner had a 10 years relationship before me. No kids. I don't know if my in laws are in touch with her but I wouldn't mind if they had. I also had relationship before my husband and I remember my mom and sister being sad when I broke up because they likes my ex. They also love my husband. I would figure out your insecurity about the ex. And of course I think the s'il having a pic with her on the fridge very inconsiderate... Sorry for that. I get it hurts your feelings.

I think your husbands family having any contact with an ex of his is inappropriate. Or to even have anything of hers around- including photos. Some families are super pathetic and don’t know boundaries. And some people honestly don’t know how to build quality relationships of their own so they hold onto dynamics that should’ve been long gone. I am glad your hubby stood by your side. You have no insecurity about an ex so please don’t go being harsh on yourself. Most rational healthy people would be uncomfortable about an ex being around this long into a relationship.

I should add though that given how isolated both those incidents were, they might have been sincerely not directed to hurt you. But they definitely should be more thoughtful. These kinda mistakes leave a bad taste for a loooooong time.

@Aurélie I would understand that except my husband has been very 100% strict about my family having any contact with my ex. Or even guys I was close to having a relationship with 😂. And my family has respected that always

I think it's a very controlling and unappropriate thing to require from your husband to your family. I don't think anyone is entitled to control their relationship with others even if they don't like it. It's a him problem... He should manage his own insecurity. Unless you had a violent boyfriend or someone that deeply hurt you, I don't see any reason for your family not to ne in touch with your exes (if they want to).

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