Feeling low

It's been a long time now, but the past few days have been very difficult. I'm just finding everything so overwhelming and I have never felt so alone. I lost my nan over a year ago to cancer and she was my person, the one I could talk to, the one who would always be there, going through motherhood without your person sucks. I've got a lovely partner and a lovely one year old boy but why do I still feel so sad, so alone, empty. I want better for my son, he deserves more than this. Its strange when you have a child because your whole outlook on life changes, I'm even looking into doing an online degree so I can get better paid in future and give him a good life, yet, I feel really off about things, like I'm not good enough, I have 0 friends which doesn't help, so no one to speak to, I moved over from South Africa when I was 16, made some friends but lost contact, its a lonely world I'm in, a sad, numb and empty world. I just want to eat and sleep all the time. That's all I want to do and I know it's not good, I am on anti depressants but yeah, I could write how down I am for ages but I won't do that. Thanks for reading x