Nursery drop off meltdowns

Hey everyone, my son has started going to nursery for one day a week 8-6 (we can only afford to use the government funded hours). He loved his induction that was an hour long, didn't want me to stay. First week he got a bit tearful when I left, the past 4 drop offs have been getting progressively worse. He kicks and screams he doesn't want nursery, even starts screaming in the car when we turn into the car park. It's stressing me out so much, I know he's having fun there because the photos we get sent he's playing and they have said he's progressing well, it's just drop offs that are horrendous. I don't long it out, I pass him over, say goodbye and go as I've been advised. We talk about nursery and I've asked him why he doesn't like it as he has said, and he said "because I can't play with people". He plays absolutely fine by the looks of things and they've said he's fine and calms down very quickly. He's an only child and has never been in a childcare setting so I can imagine the sharing is hard for him, and maybe that's why. I feel really bad handing him over in that state. I thought this morning would be easier as when I said it's nursery today he said "yeah! I go nursery!" And I thought great - as the other weeks he's been yelling "NO I DON'T GO". But no, we pulled into the carpark and it all started. I managed to calm him down and he was fine and chatting away as we were waiting and then when the lady went to take him in, he threw himself on the floor and started screaming again. Makes me feel horrible for leaving him and I also feel bad for the nursery workers having to have that first thing in the morning. Has anyone else had similar, or found anything that helps?

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My 3 year old goes through stages like this all the time and he’s been full time since he was one. Generally after some time off as he gets back into a routine. It DOES pass! The routine sets in and the consistency works for them. You just have to ride the storm. If there’s anything that makes it easier, do it. Let them wear what they choose, pick a snack for the car ride or to walk in with, take a toy to show, highlight something they can tell their nursery worker or friends about etc, it helps distract in their way in. But it takes a while. One day a week may be hard, I’d consider asking nursery if you can use all 30 hours as this will be an extra day or two - if that’s doable and works for you I think it will do him wonders and he’ll prepare him for school a bit more. (Speaking from experience as my full timer went two days a week in school hold and found that difficult as it was broken up).

Thanks so much for your response. It's good to know it passes eventually! I'm worrying that this might just never stop and he might be like this about school too. The nursery has a LOT of kids and we don't get much feedback other than "he's doing well", and my son doesn't tell me much about what he does there so I do worry. Unfortunately I don't think we qualify for the 30 hours as although his dad does 45 hours+, I only do 25, I think both parents have to be working 30?

I’m really not sure about entitlement, but worth checking out as I think that would really help? Even if nursery let you use the other 5 free hours as half a day would help? I think he’ll open up about his day more as he builds confidence and you could speak to nursery to ask for an update on how he’s doing as your a bit worried with how unsettled he’s coming in. It may be too soon for them to tell you much yet as they will need to learn him and get to know him a bit. It does pass, just keep the consistency, keep talking to him. Since his last spell my LO asks every night ‘what are we doing when I wake up’ and that’s his way of finding out if it’s a nursery day or not, it used to spark an upset but now he just goes to bed. And every morning he asks ‘when I get home from pre school where are we going’ and I think that’s him having something in his head to look forward to, but he does love it rheee.

This was my boy when he first started going to nursery. And he too was doing one day a week. Since then we've upped it to two days and now 3 days a week. I think my boy took longer to get used to it all because he was going one day a week. My advice is to keep going with it even though it's heartbreaking. He will get there just will take a bit longer ❤️

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