Little girl said something about grandad what do I do

Im so sorry you are going through something like this. It is my worst nightmare and one of the main reasons i have chosen not to ever leave my kids with anyone especially if a man is in the house. Family or not. I know it can be women too but 1 in 4 men have the condition and a lot hold it down their whole lives but start losing control as they get older. I would definitely take it seriously and firstly ask your mum if at any point they were left alone and then maybe start watching your dads interactions with your girl with a different perspective. Men dont tend to be overfussed with children, especially if they are small. This has always been a red flag for me, if they give them too much undivided attention or comment on how pretty they are. Its a serious problem in the UK and no one seems to talk about it. All gets brushed off as child imagination. Family members are the number one predators and in my eyes it is really not normal that a 2 year old is saying that..

This is really hard and challenging to know what is the best to do. I wonder if you should seek some confidential advice from NSPCC or Childline? Maybe discussing it through with a professional will give you an idea as to the next sensitive steps to take for all involved.

Im so sorry I’m sure this is awful. I would recommend a joint session with a therapist and you and your daughter. They have ways that they can just play things out and they might be able to get some more info that you haven’t been able to get yet. They could also help you sort out next steps if needed. It sounds like you’ve done the right things to prevent any abuse—which is teaching her the correct words for body and being a safe place for her to talk about her body. I will say that I did reread the beginning after I read the game your dad plays about “I’m gonna get your bum if it’s out”. I wanted to make sure her bum was out when she said it, and also that she used the same phrase. She did say vagina and non bum, but if she used the same phrase and was naked at the time, there could absolutely be a connection in her mind. However, it is still of course very concerning that she said he touched it twice, and that’s the part you might need professional help with.

Also even at that age, if there was abuse going on, you would likely notice other changes in your daughter aside from a random comment. I’m guessing therapists will ask those questions, too, but there might be emotional or mood differences, eating differences, sleeping, toileting, etc. So maybe think if there are any other alarm bells?

And if it were me, because you’ll probably have a wait before getting in to see a therapist, I would also probably ask some questions at other times when she’s not on alert for it that are indirectly related. Do it when you are calm maybe while she’s coloring or playing so she’s otherwise engaged. Who is allowed to see your private body? What would you do if someone touched your bum/vagina? I think some generic body safety questions might get you a better understanding and you can gauge her reaction and responses. Maybe even “Hey, has grandmom ever touched your vagina?” To see the answer there vs grandad. I will also add that my daughter once said something that sent me running to the therapist and it was nothing and just a kid comment at a time when she was learning about her body. You never know, perhaps when she used to need diaper changes, grandad did it twice and now your mom says things like “you only changed her diaper twice.”

I spoke to my parents on the day, I told them exactly what had been said; They both explained that she is never left alone with my dad, and my mum always deals with her when she goes to the toilet. My dad never says the word vagina my mum doesn’t either as they are the older generation who think them words are vulgar. My dad explained that he does say and has said since she was little he’s going to get your bum in a playful way( I do the same) and she does say no to him and run away playing, I think she was stating that she doesn’t want grandad to get her vagina, just like she said she doesn’t want him to get her bum when she runs around playing. My little girl is very advanced in her age so I think she was thinking that grandad says he’s going to get my bum so was telling me she doesn’t want him to get her vagina. She hasn’t said anything since this, and I’m not sure with her saying yes she said this as I asked her beofre and she said no so with me asking again she just changed

Her answer, she also has started to say no and yes when they’re the opposite for example she put some play doh in her mouth and I asked her if she did this and she said no even though I saw her do it, my dad openly had the discussion with me and got upset at the thought of it; I’ve recently bought her a book on private parts and was talking with her yesterday about what do we do if someone touches your vagina or bum and after talking to her she openly said, I say no no no it’s (her name) vagina! And we spoke about who she’s tells if anyone does try to! My little girl tells me everything; like when she has a biscuit or a muffin at nannan house when she’s isn’t supposed to, or if her dad tells her off for something and I’m not there she will tell me that he’s done so, I do think if anything of the sort happened she would tell me about It. I don’t want to be naive or anything so please tell me if you think I’m being stupid, I will always believe my child when they say something and

I do believe my parents too as they are the most kindest and loving people ever and my dad as no history of this ever no as his daughters or his other grandchildren who are in there early and late teens who still stay at there house My child’s behaviour hasn’t changed and she isn’t withdrawn or anything of the sort she was distressed of the day when being picked up from said grand parent house which I would believe would be the case if this happened It’s such a terrible position to be in

I still would personally ask more questions with your daughter etc