Vent

Oh sweetie, i totally understand how you’re feeling. You are not alone. It’s going to get easier as they grow. It’s going to be better. You are not alone. Reach out if you need to talk.

I was there. I could have written it myself. The turn came for me at 3 months when colic subsided and longer stretches of sleep came. I think you find your rhythm at this point: Best advice was find a schedule that works and stick to it. Babies adapt to habits. Don’t feel guilty. Two things can be true at the same time. Two big blessings and it’s the hardest thing ever.

@Nasya we have been trying to sort a bit of a routine/schedule but it’s so hard. What were some key parts of your routine that started early?

It’s definitely hard! Do not feel guilty! Starting small repetitive things really helped me establish routine over these last few weeks. My girls are 10 weeks old. The biggest thing was establishing a “bedtime routine” which for me is diaper change, lavender lotion, fresh pjs, bottle, swaddle and put in bed with sound machine on. Also paying attention to wake windows and sleepy cues during the day has been really helpful. If they’re awake after a feed, I let them play in their baby gym mat until they either start fussing or look tired. Then swaddle and in their beds for a nap. If they’re asleep after a few I just swaddle and put down. Babies are all about consistency. Whether it’s one baby or two babies. Keeping with these routines and starting 4 oz feeds every 3 hours during wake hours, we’ve just started sleeping 7-8 hours overnight for the last 4 Nights in a row and it’s a total game changer.

@Meagan the girls don’t just fall asleep when tired. I’ve tried all sorts but they get really worked up and so overtired that I’m at a loss.

@Meagan were your twins born full term? Your routine sounds lovely ! Definitely took some.tups from this from my girlie's xx

So with our twins we started off with feed schedule. Feed at the same time each time (use a prop pillow or tandem breastfeed if you can). Wake one up to feed etc Then sleep schedule - there’s a lot on the internet about the right wake windows for each month. Get them napping at the same time with 15 mins difference. It takes a while for them to sync to it but when they do it will be much better for night time and you will have free time gaps I think getting them into the right schedule early on will pay off in dividends later for healthy sleep habits. It’s to the point now that if I’m 5 mins late to their schedule, they will let me know. It’s the one piece of advice other twins mums gave me and one I will forever be grateful for.

A schedule also helps limit the impact of sleep regressions. Bedtime routine is also very important. Keep it simple enough to maintain.

I agree with a lot of the ladies here. Keep a schedule it helps you and mostly the babies, they like consistency. Bed time routine is definitely crucial I started them at about 2 almost 3 months on a routine and it’s helped a lot. The good things is they have each other you’ll notice as they get older they look for each other at bedtimes routines :) Dont feel guilty you’re doing your best, we all have been there. :)

I don’t know what to do if they don’t settle when they go in their cot though. At 8 weeks they can’t settle themselves- do I just let them sleep on me?

@OP have you tried increasing their amount per feed? Or have you tried gripe water to help settle any gas? Sometimes when my girls are really fussy a little gripe water will help settle them. Are they having wake windows during the day?

@Meagan they are always offered more than they will drink - one twin is offered 120ml and usually has 110-100. Then the other is a lot smaller on 60-70 but offered 100ml. They do! They will start to show cues they are tired so we will have cuddle and I’ll put them down. But they will just cry and cry until cuddled to sleep. They also get overtired very quickly so I try to limit awake time to an hour max. Never tried the gripe water! Do you add to every bottle?

@Amber they were born at 36 weeks. “late preterm” is what my doctors called it. I hope sharing what I do can help other moms but I’m no expert! And all babies are different. But having a consistent routine definitely helped with my first born and so far is helping with the twins. We still have rough days/nights but we’re getting there!

Definitely watch for those sleepy cues. And it’s okay to rock them/cuddle them to sleep. You can’t spoil a baby contrary to what anyone says. Usually if they are having a little trouble settling going into bed I’ll sway and do butt pats next to their bed and then bend to lay them down and stay there for a few seconds then slowly straighten up and move a hand to their chest and slowly take pressure off until they stop fidgeting. I actually don’t put it in their bottles. I only give it to them if they have the hiccups or are really fussy and won’t settle. My girls have all taken it right out of the syringe no problem. I just make sure to give it to them slowly.

@Meagan thank you so much 🤍