Advice on child smacking! please help a mama out…

I am a firm believer in gentle parenting and so far I haven’t hit many major hurdles in trying to achieve this in the way I want to…. Until my little girl realised if she smacked me she would get a ‘snap’ reaction, my immediate reaction to smacking is an instant very firm ‘No!’ Followed with a softer (but still firm) ‘we must not smack people it is not nice’ with further explanations of ‘this hurts people and upsets them and it is not nice’ and ‘we must use gentle/kind hands’ etc. you get the drift… However she has continued to smack. Also just a side note to mention she only smacks me (her mum) and no one else. Anyway I know she’s doing it because she’s expressing her more complex emotions through actions, I know she’s learning, I understand all of this and I’m trying to be so patient and explain why we don’t do it. Well maybe I’m just a bit sensitive because I’m on my period and we have been trying for baby no 2 (not going well of course) but it’s really upsetting me, like tiny human why are you hurting me? I just want to love you and give you everything you want and need just please use your words instead of hitting 😭 it’s starting to really really affect me and I don’t know what else I can try… please help, I love my little girl to bits and I know it’s not on purpose but its really starting to hurt my feelings😭😭 Things I’ve tried: - talking to her in a calm way after an initial snap reaction (most common way I deal with it) - being firm and put my foot down (she’s not bothered) - shouted (only a couple of times when she’s smacked me over and over throughout the day and I’m overstimulated) - Walk away (she would get upset and run to me for a cuddle and apologise) - Go into another room and close the door, only when another adult was in the room with her (she follows me opened the door told me it was okay, followed me back into the living room, smacks me again and tells me to go out the door) so that one’s obviously a no

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So hard when LOs act like this. My LB only smacks me and usually when he is tired and we are doing bedtime routine. Sounds like you're doing everything right just keep consistent. Great read here https://sarahockwell-smith.com/2018/09/28/what-to-do-when-children-bite-push-shove-hit-and-throw/?fbclid=IwY2xjawFnt4dleHRuA2FlbQIxMQABHQybtKBBffsIHvxtSJe-_Z38ZfsNZ4uIeQSKAYtUPUKrEQrSecdbkz6RKQ_aem_8_VeimqYZPko1yaK7W2ORA

@Zoey thank you for answering, I will give it a read, it’s hard because I know they must be finding it hard to regulate and we are the ones they feel most comfortable with but it hurts my feelings 🙈 I’ve always been a sensitive soul I know I need to toughen up but yeah 🫠

I guide my daughters hand and show her to stroke mummy instead going “ahh that’s nice, gentle hands for mummy” she still hits occasionally but will often now follow it with stroking me and saying sorry, she’s just turned 2 xx

Hi lovely, just maybe somethings to look out for or think about. Is it at specific times of day, specific places, when you are doing something (I.e on the phone, washing dishes ect) as there could be a trigger as to why. Also could it be that it's a bid to get your attention (not to say you are not attentive) and maybe enjoys that specific initial reaction/response cause if that's the case you could incorporate that type of reaction into play so she doesn't use undesirable behaviour to seek it. (For example maybe she enjoys that snap reaction from you so could you play a game where it is incorporated so she gets whatever it is she likes from that interaction without hurting mummy) Sorry I am a special needs teacher and we constantly look out for why or what is the function of children's behaviour, so totally not a judgement or anything negative at all xx

One of my little boys did exactly the same and only did it to me. I felt like I tried everything because at one point it was constant all day, like every 5 mins, I can remember just bursting out crying in the height of it. Then it just stopped all of a sudden, nothing changed, it just stopped. So I do genuinely feel like it’s a phase. I know that might not help sorry but dig deep and it will pass 🥰 xxx

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