Trouble with toddler after bringing home new baby.
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@Taylor Garman my husband started a new job recently and only had 2 days which we used for our hospital stay. The fits are mostly when I tell her she can’t do something, like hold the baby standing up or have a snack right before dinner and tonight it was that she didn’t want to go to bed. I realize these are normal things for toddlers to freak out about but her actual fit’s themselves are next level which I have never seen before on any child.
Oh man, that is so hard. Do you have any other support? As far as the fits, I would agree that they are normal for the age group. At least for my boy, when he’s tired, he’s a mess. His fits are fierce and also concerning. Rightfully so, because I am something else when I’m tired. Is your daughter still napping? The only concrete advice that I have outside of looking at her sleep needs is to possibly look at her diet (I know it’s so hard at this age, at least for me) and to read about how to handle those tough tantrums. The Whole-Brain Child and Raising Good Humans could be a good starting point, but there are others out there. They kind of give you a perspective that you may not have thought about before. You both have had a big change in your lives with your new baby, and I imagine that you’re very tired.
It sounds like you’re doing an amazing job!! I get it though bc we’re going through the same thing over here. Our second is three weeks old & it’s been tough. Wayy harder than I thought it’d be. I feel like I can’t give enough attention to either of them & my toddler is definitely pushing boundaries & new behaviors have come up bc of it. The screaming is so hard. I don’t have a ton of advice but I’ve been trying to use his calm down techniques with him - mostly deep breathing. I’m trying to stay consistent with our boundaries but, like you said, some things I’ve been bending on. Like extra screen time & giving him preferred foods/snacks. I’ve been trying to keep him extra busy & active during the day & sometimes that seems to help - water play, play doh, sensory play, etc. They’re things that make messes but it keeps him happy & occupied while I take care of baby. Hoping things get easier for all of us 💗
I seriously started to read your story and even questioned “was this my posting because I don’t remembe” I’m in the exact same boat as you. My daughter will be 3 in a couple of weeks and I have a week old newborn. I feel like my daughter is regressing and every time my son cries she started and having accidents more frequent. At times she wants to be included but mostly refuses and when he is sleeping I try to do alone time with her but she gets mad and whines 🤦🏻♀️ The kicker is the both of us are getting over a cold so we are at home for the most part too. I have to keep reminding myself, this is a phase and believe and hope things will get better. ❤️🩹 We are strong ❤️
@Jenna I get it. My child’s fits are just so bad. She’s always been difficult that’s not new but what she’s been doing lately is so over the top that I’m just worried.
I am almost five weeks pp and we’ve been going through it too! There was lots of crying and acting out in the first two weeks, even though he was excited about the baby. His whole routine changed and suddenly had to share us so I understand 100% why he’s struggling. The last few weeks we still get the screaming but now he screams almost in competition with the baby so he gets attention too. It’s rough but it’s slowly getting better here ❤️ sending luck to you!
Stay strong. I just literally broke down today and cried but not in front of either of my littles to see. The washed my face to get my daughter and reminded myself, this is not forever
It gets better after a few months. Not perfect, but better. The love she is gaining in her sibling is soooo much more than the time she is losing with you right now.
Hey mama. That sounds really tough, especially with a newborn. Mom guilt can be so hard on us too. A few questions. Does your husband have any parental leave to help you? Are these fits of your daughters associated with anything specific (I.e. turning TV off, not getting a certain snack, etc.) or is it just anything upsetting her? From personal experience, I understand how getting upset/mad makes matters worse but it’s so hard regulating emotions sometimes, and especially after just having a difficult pregnancy and being postpartum! You acknowledge what you want to happen, and please know that you are doing great. These are such tough times! I’m a mama of a soon to be 3 year old and 7 month old.