Friendships

Hiya girls - I’m looking for some advice & to use this as abit of an outlet. I’m 30 weeks with my first baby & you always here a lot of things about being lonely the first few years of having your baby and I can honestly say I’m really really worried of feeling alone. I have a wonderful family support network around me including my partner however I’m concerned about loosing my very close friends on the basis they do not have children yet and my best friend is not the most maternal person either. What if they don’t want to spend time with me or my baby because I’m not as flexible as before? Does anybody have any advice/ thoughts?

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You never know, your friends might surprise you :) either way you’ll probably start connecting with new friends who have little ones so you will have friends in a similar place to you and your friends who don’t have kids yet - you can continue to live a bit vicariously through them!

honestly, it has been lonely for me, but my best friend has been here for me! she’s not exactly maternal either, and she shows up in all of the right ways! being lonely has kind of taught me to be alone comfortably honestly.. it all works out!🫶🏻

30 weeks and having the same worry 😟

It can be anxiety inducing, but I say the loneliness comes from having those hard and overwhelming days and feeling alone because of that, not so much that you’ll lose the friends you currently have.

In a sense, it can be lonely. Friends will spoil your baby rotten with gifts, but there’s also some challenges when it comes to quality time. I think its difficult for friends without babies to understand what you will be going through. Because of that, they may not know how to show up for you. I also didn’t know about naps and bedtimes before my baby, and how your schedule as a mom will be dictated by that. I found trying to find separate time for my friends easier so I can also focus on them. Bringing my toddler is often chaotic, it’s just a different dynamic.

Your real friends will stick around! I’m 26 and my friends are single and not thinking about babies but they have been soooo amazing towards my baby and they wanna come over as much as they can. If they don’t make the effort you will find new friends don’t worry.

Many of my friends are not parental in any way, and I was also very stressed/just assumed I would slowly be ostracized/excluded because of being the first/only parent. Turns out they absolutely love my son (even the ones who admitted they may not want to be around after I had him) and have been incredibly accommodating to my family :) I do hope your friends surprise you and make the best "aunties/uncles" for your little one! ♡

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