Advice please (and a little rant)

I’m the first out of my friendship group to have a baby. I can’t help but feel really hurt that my friends keep leaving me out all the time. We were never a friendship group that went out clubbing or heavily drinking and for context we are a small group of couples. However since me being pregnant all they want to do is go out clubbing and drinking. I’m not expecting them to put their lives on hold just because of me. But the part that upset me is that I’ve been going along to the pubs and evenings out (soft drinks only obviously) and having a good time with them and just leaving when they decide to go into the clubs. But lately they have just been going without me and then when I’m messaging them asking to hang out they reply with ‘sorry we are already out’. And anytime I try to arrange to do something like coffee, dinner, cinema or anything pregnancy friendly I’m either ignored or they say they are trying to save and it’s too expensive. I don’t know if I’m being super over dramatic but I’m just feeling super lonely

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Aww that sounds tough. It's so easy to take these things personally when really they probably just don't want you to feel like you have to keep saying no. It's a big life change that is coming up and it will take a while for both you and your friends to adjust to it. It's one of those things - you don't really get it until you actually have kids. But you'll find a new normal, which will be easier when another of your friends has kids. I'm sure they'll be besotted when your baby is here and you'll find new things to do with them x

To be fair we've been pregnant all though summer, which is peak clubbing time haha but I do understand where you're coming from - if you can afford to go clubbing then you can afford to have a coffee!

I’m in the same boat and they won’t even invite me bc it’s a pub like I can come and drink Coke no????

@Bex Oh no, that's rubbish. You should just tell them. I know it's easier said than done I'm "lucky" that most of my friends are now boring and settled, so in the same boat. It does get easier

@Katie the sad thing is it’s not them trying to be nice so I’m not saying no as I never do. I’m always up for going out because I love socialising with them. I just fear once little one is here I will slowly not hear from them again. X

This is so tough. I think if that's how they feel and how they're going to be, then I think maybe you need to accept that you need to make some new "mum" friends that won't treat you like this. There is only so much you can do - you can't make people treat you how you should be treated. Like I said before - they'll get it when they get to the same stage in life, but until then...

I made a point in my friendship group and invited everyone around all the time and told them to bring the pregame to me first, usually by the time they want to go out, I am so ready to get in to bed so it works well, I’m now 7 weeks from due date and they still come over once every few weeks and I’m super happy about it x

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