I want to be a better mom
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I feel this! If you are open to it, have you considered medication? Speaking from personal experience, I found I was irritable and impatient because I was burn out from feeling the burden of everything (most of which I put on myself) and realizing that it stemmed from anxiety. I take meds for that now it is has really helped me.
Thank you @Olga for your advice, vulnerability and relatability. I truly appreciate it. I’m going to look into magnesium supplements. Can I ask what you do with your toddler when he breaks boundaries? For me, I usually remove whatever is causing the issue (like if he keeps throwing his toys after I ask him to stop, I take them so he can’t throw them). Do you do something similar? Different?
Do you following BigLittleFeelings on Instagram? They are a great resource.
You are very welcome 🫶🏻 I use the “I count till 3” rule. The thing is not to overuse it so it won’t lose its power. It took some time and practice but now my son takes the rule pretty seriously. I also stick to my “no” for the life of me lol. I did that with screen time since the very start. I allow him to watch some Netflix (cartoons or animal documentaries) but only during evening time, usually it’s between 6 and 6.45/7 pm. He knows the rule but used to ask for TV during day time and I haven’t bulged even once. He now knows that no crying/whining/stomping will help with this and rule is the rule. TV is only in the evening and only for 30-45 min. Things like that.
I feel this, it's a struggle for me as well because I myself work with kids so when mine is testing me I'm already stressed if it was a crazy day. Going off your example of throwing things, you corps take that toy away but replace it with something else, maybe at that time he wants to throw a ball. It might help both of you. 🤷♀️
I understand! I’m the same way especially now that he’s not the only child. I can’t take the crying and I get irritated with him a lot more .I feel bad because I can’t give him all my attention anymore . I just try to remember that every day I have a chance to start over and do things better than the day before. I also try to remember that he still loves me, he wakes me up with a smile and a good morning and he tells me he loves me randomly. I hope things get better. Following for advice too!💞
I feel this 🥺 some days are better than others but the way I help myself regulate is movement (somatic exercises or just dancing or exercise in general), music 🎶 helps so much!, ensure my needs are met (food,sleep, breathing), therapy, sunlight, being silly, doing body checks (go down my body and identify how I’m feeling or if I’m holding tension), and in the thick of it where everything else fails or can’t be done I step away preferably outside but just in a different room sometimes works too.
This hits home. I’m super moody and get irked very very fast (always been like that, even before motherhood). So you can imagine my struggle handling toddlerhood. I’ve started reading literature about child psychology when I was pregnant but it doesn’t help much in practice, I do realise that it’s a stage, that toddlers test your boundaries, their neurological system develops extremely fast, their brain does not have self control and all that. I get it, it just doesn’t help in the heat of the moment. I do know my triggers and what triggers my loss of patience and my irritation. Here’s what I tried: Taking magnesium (supposed to strengthen your nervous system). Spending more time outside and less time inside. Setting VERY strict boundaries so my child builds some respect to me and knows I mean what I mean (I noticed it helps). As cliche as it is, deep breathing when I’m in the heat of the moment.