Independence at 10 years age , how do u teach this ?

My daughters quite Independent but she’s still a child. I can tell her to put her homework in her bag and cream her face she’ll do one task and forget the other I’d supervise her and it’ll become routine eventually but I do think you are expecting her to be more independent than needed

My boy does basically everything for himself. He is quite forgetful and needs reminders sometimes

She can do all tasks on her own but I need to keep telling her to do things they aren’t yet a routine and thought it’s just her It sounds like I am expecting too much then Thank you

My boy does it all to be honest. I need to find certain items of clothing for him sometimes. He’s always been independent even from a young age though.

My daughter is quite independent but she is very forgetful or gets sidetracked quite easily so she writes herself a list of things I've asked her to do x

@Aimee I tried that before but may be will be most helpful if she writes that up herself

Sounds like a lot of pressure for a ten year old girl if I’m being completely honest. What are you feeling angry about? The fact that she forgets things? I think the expectations are probably too high here. Children don’t ask to be born and to just know all the answers because mum and dad have work to go to. Maybe try making her a list for what she needs every day, show her how to do it for the first week and then introduce a reward for her maintaining it herself.

@Jodie I am angry cos I am disappointed , I have tried all of what you mentioned, including rewards, showing her how to do things…etc And what’s most annoying that she is always distracted and prioritise playing / watching TV over everything else … it’s not that she doesn’t know how to do things but it’s just that she is lazy and got used to having me worrying about everything…so if she adman she has made a mistake and forget then that’s easy to manage …everyone forget and make mistakes …but she doesn’t really do that she expects me to do things for her all the time with no appreciation its her responsibility to do … she isn’t taking any accountability for that which I find v disappointing now she is next year at senior school

If I was ten years old and I had, like you said, a lot of pressure on me in school, I think all I would want to do is come home and play after a gruelling day in private school under all that pressure.

Children… not performing monkeys.

@Jodie yes that’s what made me feel guilty when I am angry with her for not doing things She has always been doing things on her own pace and never liked to be rushed even if we are going out for fun and since was at public school but I agree it has probably become worse since moving school even though she is a lot more interested than before

We all have mum guilt and all are doing our best (in our eyes) but I do think sometimes we need to take a step back and think long and hard about it. Have you had a conversation with her? Like actually spoke to her as though she is on your level and explained the pressure you’re under to take care of everyone and how much you would appreciate it if she could try to help you some more? When my daughter comes home from school, I always allow her the first hour for a drink and a snack, to tell me all about her day, relax for a little bit and unwind. Then after tea when I’m cleaning up, that’s her time to go get prepared for school the next day. Which sounds like a lot less than your daughter has to do considering all the activities etc. my daughter doesn’t do homework, she reads for 45 minutes every evening before going to sleep. We all want our children to be high achievers, but I fear for the amount of pressure on them these days and what their teen years will involve

When they need to ‘escape’

I think 6 hours a day taking in information, passing tests and being judged on their ability to get things correct is enough to do in my eyes

We try to do homeworks at weekends cos I know how tensed the day can be especially that she arrives home late after her ASC… She also mainly spend time drawing or reading a book after school … Thanks a lot for you advice sounds good :)

More work on the weekends 😫

@Jodie nothing is easy…if you want to be an achiever you have to work hard 😓

My motto is work smart not hard 😉

What that usually means these days and for all the days before these ones is… work yourself to the bone, have no fun, go on holiday once a year, drive a nice car, have a big house, pay for a cleaner to clean that big house because you don’t have the time, pay for childcare because you don’t have the time to look after them while you’re working hard, retire, then die. Leave your children assets then the cycle will repeat. 💭

@Jodie I don’t know if I’m terrible but honestly I don’t care about my kids passing any tests being top of any class. All I want for my kids is for them to be happy decent human beings! And hopefully do something that makes them happy! I don’t know why people care so much about grades or when people brag about their kids grades! I’d rather raise nice decent wellmannered human beings than clever ones!! Xx

@Aimee not necessarily clever or get high grades but I do think we should teach them to have discipline and be responsible… to me it doesn’t matter what career my daughter decides to do in future or even if she decides to stay at home but most importantly is to be responsible , reliable and be good at whatever she doing I think if I don’t teach her to do her best at this age she won’t be able to make the most out of her capabilities