Anyone else noticing a difference in friendships/ struggling with social life.

I am probably hormonal but I’m feeling really hurt (stressed, upset, pissed off, annoyed - depending on the day) that some of my close friends aren’t acknowledging my pregnancy. I’m not expecting any special treatment but the odd mention that I’m literally in the home stretch would be nice. I don’t want to be the bore that talks about it all the time and really try not to but it’s a big thing and these are my close friends (it’s not all of them but a couple) we’re mid 30s but no one else has as a baby yet, I know everyone will/wants too at some point but no one else is trying yet and some not in a relationship. I ask about/celebrate them all - whatever the milestone; houses, jobs, dates , relationships (or break ups) even cooking a nice meal or getting new nails. I feel the only way it’s ever mentioned is in a negative way ‘are you sure you’ll be able to come to my party/ you won’t be able to do this for much longer etc’ My partner is in our wider group and we do a lot of social stuff all the time. Part of me wants to say f it and stop going to things, part of me wants to always be there. I kinda want to ghost the people who don’t check in on me but then maybe I’m just doing it out of spite. I have one friend in particular I’ve known her for 15 years, I’ve helped her through a tough time with a break up, there were together over a decade. All the while I was completely single. I have a feeling she thought she would be the first to get married, have a baby and maybe there is some resentment but this break up was years ago now so maybe it’s a reach. Anyway this long - I’m just over thinking because today we have another event and I’ve hardly heard from a few of them. Also worth noting that the group is entirely formed through me, I knew these people individually and bought them together over many years - they have now formed good friend themselves which is great but I’m not really sure of my place anymore or to handle it because it’s making me miserable. Anyone who has read this much, thank you and you must have the insomnia I have!

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Your feelings are valid dear. I haven’t told most of my friends cos I told my Best friend almost immediately when I found it. P.s getting pregnant wasn’t planned, but she made it all about her, how she would be able to cope and stuff. She was going through a failed marriage which I was there for her and stuff. She checks up on me but deep down I know she doesn’t care. She doesn’t seem interested or involved and I have found myself not being comfortable sharing anything with her anymore. The whole emotional labor is stressing but I don’t need that now. I’ve stuck to being happy with my family and concentrating on things that make me happy instead of downplaying my happiness or feelings or excitement because of how she would feel.

I know it sucks but people have their own lives, and not having been pregnant, they have no reference at all to what you're going through. I can relate as I'm one of the last of my friends to have a baby and I can now see how much I wasn't involved it's not i didn't love them, it just never crossed my mind other than to check in now and again ir go to a baby shower. If you want them to be involved, ask, or say you are struggling and want to go out for lunch. Unfortunately, no matter what you have on in life, it's your own life, and unless we communicate about it, people tend to concentrate on their own by default, not by malice. Xx

I think pregnancy can bring up friend’s insecurities. One of my close friends started to act weird when I got pregnant. Wanted to be super involved and then was really critical . where I just wanted space to experience my pregnancy in peace . Being pregnant hard enough without everyone putting their two pence in. People have their own lives . Best to just focus on you and your child . Who wants to be involved will over time

I feel it’s very common for pregnant women to feel this way! I have down moments when my friends go out for drinks and i havent got an invite but then again i wouldnt go anyway as its like 7pm and im exhausted at that point! i think pregnancy can make us feel lonely so your feelings are valid! unfortunately though people have their own lives and things going on and if they haven't been pregnant they might not know to check in etc. i know when my friend was pregnant and i wasnt/hadnt been before i didnt check in as much as i am now as shes pregnant same time as me! try not think too much into it! once youve given birth youll no doubt get an influx of messages that youll probably wish people would leave you alone 🤣 if you feel distant from your friends, speak to them and organise a meal or something 😌 i'm sure if they see you in person they'll ask how you are etc

People are like that. We are built to focus on ourselves and our own lives. Your friends probably don't understand how pregnancy affects you, and they may feel awkward inviting you to things knowing you wouldn't be able to do something or maybe they just are unsure of what to say and do. Maybe start planning things and inviting them and then talk about how you feel, let them know that you feel ghosted or pushed out. Dont just start to just ghost them first without speaking to them, as you may negatively impact your relationships further.

If it helps, I’ve felt exactly the same - I feel it’s been even worse in this pregnancy as it’s my second and people are less excited/the novelty isn’t there. My circle of friends has grown significantly smaller xxx

I can relate to this so much, although my little boy is 2 now & it is still difficult getting to see my friends. Like I was supposed to be seeing one on Monday, who I haven't seen for 4 months, & she cancelled on me last night. It'll be a novelty when baby is first born & people will want to see you a lot. But after baby turns 1, it stops & you have to make a lot of effort to see people 😐

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