My husband says I’m the reason for his addiction

Everyone has to take responsibility for their own mental health including him. It doesn’t sound like he loves you. I hope things get better for you.

Please try not to take this personally as his addiction is what is speaking and not him. I am not sure what he’s doing alcohol, heavy drugs or smoking weed but no matter what it is it is not your fault. His body has worked up a high tolerance for whatever it is - when he’s not having it he’s probably upset, lashing out, being mean unfortunately. But no, it’s not you. You are not responsible for his behavior or his mental health. He has to take accountability for his own choices of doing whatever he’s doing that his body got hooked on from constant use. Praying for you guys🙏🏼

I would leave him. Trust me you don’t want to live life with a mentally abusive addict. You and your kids deserve better. Get out seek help and make sure he only sees his kids when he’s clean. I’m really sorry you are going through this. Addiction is an ugly disease! It is not your fault. Also, look into al—anon…it’s a great support group.

100% asshole thing to say. Noone is responsible for his addiction besides himself. Don't let him put that on you. That is so messed up for him to say.

I’m genuinely hurt, and last night he wanted to say he has never said that… I’m just devastated.. thank you everyone…

You are better off without him, best case scenario he will spend the rest of his life in recovery, it takes people on average 7 attempts to get clean and that’s if they do ever get clean. How old are your kids? What’s stopping you from leaving? Show this to a divorce attorney, and let them have a field day. A good divorce attorney will make sure he never sees the kids again. My ex is a useless addict. Luckily, we didn’t have any kids but about 2 years later I met my now husband. There are great men out there.

@Allison 7 attempts.. ugh. I feel like I’m killing myself trying to save him and our relationship. we have 2 kids under 3… A part of me doesn’t want to leave, I want to keep fighting for our marriage but like I said I’m killing myself. I’ve been so deep into depression that suicide has been on my mind. I’ve lashed out, disrespected and everything in between. I have mentioned the divorce and he has mentioned I am not fit and he will tell the judge everything about me, so now I’m scared that he is gonna use mental health to take the kids. I know I’m not right mentally.. but I try to be a damn good mom despite everything in between..

My heart breaks for you and your babies. Is there anyone that you trust that you can have this conversation with? If not my inbox is open. He can’t use your mental health against you if you are actively trying to get help, but let him try he will only appear even worse. Addicts hold very little credibility. Document everything. Do you know where to go for help? If not you can start with your local ER. You are a great mother you will get through this.

This is classic deflection and unwillingness to take accountability for his own actions. I'm so sorry he said that to you. I've had someone blame me for their addictive behaviors too. It hurt so much! Through therapy I learned that their addictive behaviors have NOTHING to do with you. Don't believe his nonsense deflection. 💙

Leave him and try for full custody. You don’t deserve that abuse and also you don’t want your kids around it either bc he could turn on them someday. Your kids deserve happy parents and sober parents and you may only reach that goal if you can find courage to leave him.

Absolutely not! An addiction can NOT be blamed on someone else. He needs to take responsibility for his actions. Life is all about choices. You didn't make him do anything 🤯😤

Mine says I'm the reason he drinks so much and he is addicted but he has been this way long before I met him so he can't blame me