Perineal massage

Tried and didn’t like it, from a few posts I seen sometimes it doesn’t help at all

@Sarah yeah I've heard it's not always helpful but figured it's worth a go! I just didn't like the sensation of it, and felt super uncomfortable with my belly trying to reach.. As much as I am comfortable with my husband I definitely don't want to ask him to do it for me. Urgh.

I got my husband to do it for me, felt a little uncomfortable but thought he’s going to see a lot more and worse soon 😂 It was a good time to practice breathing techniques! I think unfortunately it’s not a very comfortable experience, make sure you’ve got some lubricant :)

@Lucy Wicks haha I'm glad you found a way around it. I love my husband but really don't want to ask him to do it for me 😭 You do have a point about him seeing a lot worse soon though 😅 I just used some natural oil but still just didn't like the sensation.. Maybe I need to just keep at it 🤷‍♀️

@Lucy try a nice bath beforehand :)

@Lucy Wicks ooh good idea! Will try that thank you 🥰

I also posted this on another group yesterday as I find it so uncomfortable and it actually makes me squeamish. I haven’t wanted to ask my hubby either but can’t reach so I got the frida massage wand. Most people said try to just to at least a minute 2-3 times a week as it’s better than nothing and lots of lube or stretch oil. I have literally only done it like 3 times though

I haven’t started this time round (should have - ooooops). I did it with my first and it definitely got less uncomfortable the more I did it. I don’t feel comfortable asking my husband either. He would absolutely do it for me if I wanted but I think I’d find it a bit demeaning.

I did it every other night from 35ish weeks last time - and didn’t have a tear or any stitches. Might just be luck, or the fact I had a water birth! But I’m doing it again in the hope I have the same experience this time 🤞🏼 I use coconut oil and find this helps. Just do what you can and feel comfortable with ☺️

I recently got a tool from Amazon to try. I would ask my partner but at the end of the day after work and toddler care we are too bloody tired so I will do it in my toddlers nap time during the day but can’t reach! Hoping it will help but am nearly 37 weeks so not sure it will be enough time

The expert midwife oil is good for this 👌 but also I get my partner to do it, its super weird at first but also really good for him and us 🫶

I started doing it around 34w and the first time was really uncomfortable and even painful but mostly because I used my fingers! I had short nails but still, I also couldn’t figure out if I was doing it right. But the next day I tried again with a wand and it was MUCH better, totally different experience. Now I’ve been doing it for about two weeks everyday, 5 minutes at a time when I’m relaxing in bed watching TV and it’s not uncomfortable anymore at all. I just push down slightly from the left, middle, and right side (mostly focusing on the middle part cause I feel it needs it the most) instead of going left and right. Idk if it’ll do anything but I’ll have good conscience I did my best at least 😂 just take it very slow, use some lube or an oil (I use the perineal massage from Weleda) but if it’s too painful don’t force it! I’d highly recommend a wand tho, absolute game changer and makes it easier to reach 🙌🏼

@Jessica yeah at least a minute 2-3 times a week sounds doable, trying to keep it up for 5 minutes or more was horrendous 😅 I'm just hoping it gets easier. I guess it's not supposed to be comfortable!

@Annabel do you think it helped with your first? Im glad to hear it gets better! I might just have to perserver haha

@Ellie So glad to hear it worked for you with your first! I suppose i have to weigh up the discomfort now vs the pain of tearing 😅 I know which one I would rather endure haha

@Megan Let me know if the tool makes it any easier, I just couldn't bloody breathe when I was trying to reach! 😅 I'm 35 weeks now so that's only going to get worse haha! I can imagine doing any prep with a toddler is a nightmare gal!

@abbie glad it works for you ❤️ I might get to the point where I ask him to help but I just don't know how I'll even approach the subject 😅

@Zoé a few people in this thread have mentioned tools / wands now so I'm definitely going to look into getting something! I've got longer nails at the moment which I don't think helped with the comfort at all. I've got an appointment to get my gel nails taken off next weekend so maybe that will help ❤️ I hope it's helpful for you!!

@Lucy for sure with nails it’s horrendous, the tissues are so sensitive down there 😵‍💫 hopefully a wand will help! My midwife said it was more efficient to do it even for 2 minutes everyday (if it’s uncomfortable and you can’t do more) rather than 5-10 minutes 3x a week, and I think it definitely helped me. Now I don’t even feel anything when I do it, it’s almost nice to feel the stretch 😂 hopefully you can find a way to make it work!!