Advice

My mother in law is going to be watching my baby when I return to work. My husband thinks we should pay her but in my culture, family watching babies is just a thing we do and shouldn’t be paid. I guess I’m ok with paying her to cover gas (the drive to my house is about 50 mins each way for her) and maybe a little extra. Anyone have thoughts on this? How much should we pay her?
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Unfortunately having family help out is no longer a thing. It depends on your relationship with her. My aunt would watch my 1st for a CYFD contract. I think it was $150 a month and they paid her $150. You might want to discuss with you husband what you feel comfortable with and bring it to her and discuss it with her. 50 minutes is a bit out of the way.

I think family help, especially grandparents, is not paid help. My husband and I work full time and my mom watches our baby and doesn’t ask for a dime. It’s precious time and memories with her grand baby 🤷🏼‍♀️. I would offer to pay for her gas but that’s it IMO! Doesn’t hurt to have a direct conversation with her about it.

Everyone and every situation is different. It also depends a little on how often she is watching. My parents take my son 1 time a week and my in laws take him 1 time a week. We have a nanny the other 3 days. The grandparents LOVE having that 1 day with him and wouldn’t dream of us paying them. That being said, we supply the formula, diapers, wipes, etc.

I think if your husband is suggesting you pay them- especially if they have financial needs - I would just do so. He would have a better sense of what they would consider appropriate. In my original culture you wouldn’t really pay a grandparent. But if you guys live in a western culture currently or that’s where his family is from you have to consider them/that as well

My mom watches my baby girl the 4 days I do work. But I supply anything they need. I even gave them my extra swing to have there. I offer to pay them gas or anything and they said it's not baby sitting. It's spending time with my grand baby. But I do all the traveling. If she is doing the travel, I would at least offer gas money

I would pay them

i would be straight up and ask her expectations. 50 mins each way is very generous and time is money as well nowadays.

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