Practicing Saying "No" To Protect My Self-Care Time
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@Nikki yes, you have a point there. Sometimes things are easier said than done! There isn't anything wrong with helping others and giving. (In fact, it is beautiful!) However, there is a difference in what can motivated us to give. Giving from love, generosity and kindness -- is beautiful and can feel lovely! While giving from fear, resentment, burnout or guilt on the other hand most likely doesn't feel good at all! It is great that you've noticed at times that you are giving from a guilty place! Congratulations on being that self-aware! My hope for you is that you find ways to not give from that guilty place, the key will be to identify what is making you feel guilty and then either shift your perspective on it or put up boundaries so that you don't get in those types of situations.
Considering these questions may help (no need to reply publicly if you don't want): [Also, note: all of the questions may not be applicable so ignore what doesn't resonate!] - Where did those guilty feelings come from? What thoughts trigger them? - When you have these feelings, do you need to be the one that helps? If so, why? - Could you delegate, outsource or refer? If no, why not? - Are there any situations where empowering the person to do the tasks themselves or to discover their own solution would be if more help then you doing it for them?
I frequently say no but within certain situations I feel I can’t say no. I feel this way because the guilt of not being able to help eats away at me. I try to remember to prioritize my own needs and put the oxygen mask on first. Easier said than done.