Marriage rant/need advice

I'm currently pregnant we just found out the baby's gender. My husband is having major gender disappointment. So much so that he's been distant since we found out and sent me a long text message about hes no longer going to church with us. Hes of course not blaming the baby's gender on his sudden lack of faith but I know it def plays a roll. He's never been a fan of going to mass or practicing religion. When we got married I told him that was a deal breaker for me. He said it was a non issue and that he'd join me and had no issues with raising our children Catholic. We went through a year of marriage perp through our church, he went through RICA to get his sacraments, which he actually enjoyed. I know he's still not fully on board with religion but he was attending mass with us weve had two beautiful children and I'm currently pregnant with #3. These past two months have been rough. Our oldest has asthma and it's landed her in the ER twice in the past 6 weeks. Two weeks ago he learned that his parents are getting a divorce (not a shocker, , they've been living in the same house but don't speak to either and they have slept in separate bedrooms for years) his little brother got a DUI and then we found out we're having another little girl last week. So I feel like he is questioning God and why is all this happening to him/us. I don't want to agree and tell him he doesn't have to join us, because that's the marriage in signed up for. But I also don't want to be fighting about it. I searched for a marriage counselor and am waiting for an appointment, I've also reached out to the marriage prep couple through the church. But idk if that's the best move or not. I don't want to live like his parents have (together but separate) I just don't know what to do. I'm genuinely devastated and saddened by the text message I received from him today. Okay rant over. Hope you all are having a better day than I am.

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You and your family are in my prayers. Would going to a different church (like one further away or something) help at all? It sounds like there’s more issues at stake than just baby gender disappointment. It sounds like you and him need to grow and communicate together; it sounds like you are putting together a plan to do so.

Only you know your husband but if it were me - I would respect his decision. It doesnt mean its forever but he sounds upset/overwhelmed. My husband can also can feel trapped in a situ/space sometimes and i always then give him space. Dont think you want to make anyone feel they “have” to do something or there will be a consequence. Hes positioning that way rn. I would considering saying “okay” let him cool off and discuss everything in counselling or as a pair when he’s calmed down.

(Respect his decision on church)

Oof this is so hard, and I’m sorry you’re going through this 🫶🏼 I’m not in a position to give advice (still a baby marriage here), just a humble reminder that the physical sign of the sacrament of marriage is the love you show one another. The best way we can bring sanctifying grace into our marriages is to love our spouse. Lay ourselves down in the little ways. Cook his favorite meal, do the thing you know he wants you to, leave a note of appreciation for something little or big… And don’t expect him to return the favor or even notice. Just the act of love opens our relationship up to grace from God. The grace from this sacrament allows us to keep our relationships strong and to raise our children well.

Is the language thing an issue? If so, you should make an extra effort to speak to them in Spanish to show some respect for his request and feelings. I think forcing the issue on church won’t help. Maybe try a different church? A different priest may make a big difference for him. But he may need some space to come to terms with things and pushing won’t give him that space. It doesn’t mean that’s how he’ll be forever. My husband has great difficulty with the fact that our prayers don’t always get answered the way we want in terms of things like disease, disabilities, etc. We can only set a good example and encourage.

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