Lack of support

Is anybody else struggling with a lack of support from family and friends. My parents are obviously excited but only seem bothered about themselves they never check in to see how I am or how I’m getting on, if I say anything about symptoms or anything my mum says been there done that get over it. My sister doesn’t even bring it up or check in. I actually told her that I feel very lonely at the moment and she said ‘oh the joys of pregnancy’ and that was that. I haven’t heard from my MIL since we told her about the pregnancy 4 months ago. My sister in laws, they don’t bring it up to my husband at all, they won’t engage in any conversations about the baby or pregnancy. None of my friends have checked in, I feel like I have been very alone the last few months 😔 I knew relationships would adapt and change but I never thought I’d end up completely alone! My husband is great but we need outside support 😔

Show your support

Sadly; truth is. No one cares. That's what I've learnt with my little 2 year old. It made me sad for a very long time and still does.. But; Yeah reality is no one will ever care these days. Unless it suits them

Not in the same way yet i still do. I wouldn’t say i get tons of support from family as we live abroad, so the calls are usually about them , especially my mum is very self focused so I can’t share much with her as she makes it into her own problem and starts worrying which than makes me feel like I don’t want to share. My MIL is not involved much at all for similar reasons. My friends are very passive even the ones that are also pregnant, I tried reaching out couple times but it doesn’t seem like they want to bother as they have other closer ones which is tough to deal with. So in really my biggest support system just now is this app lol and people online. We decided to hire a doula as i feel I struggle and i need someone i can rely on. Not really an option for many as its pricey but i felt the price is worth it if i look at the bigger picture.

@Ivelina would love to hear more about the doula! We live far from support and have a toddler so I'm keen on exploring this as an option too. Have you met her for any type of interview? What things will she be doing to help etc?

Feeling let down by people when you’re pregnant is extremely common I think you’ll find. People don’t really give af when you’re pregnant. It’s all exciting for a little bit then you’re left to go about as normal throughout the pregnancy, like you say, nobody checking in etc, not fully engaging in conversation about it. But when the baby is here, there will be another bout of excitement, people wanting to visit (the baby) then nothing again. Obviously this isn’t the case for everyone but it’s most definitely my experience, and lots of other women’s that I know. People are just so consumed in their own lives I guess, which is fair! I do think people should make more effort around pregnant women though, and I mean real effort and interest in you, your well-being and your emotions/feelings. I would love a circle of women around me but I’m grateful to have just one person who is genuinely interested in my pregnancy journey.

@Marnie yes , so we had met with her couple weeks ago- she’s super lovely but also so knowledgeable about everything on a different level than NHS. We also met another one tonight as we need her to serve as back up due to them having other births to support at around the same time as us. They can support any birth, if you want to go to hospital most of them will still support you - but biggest thing is you meet with them and get a feel if you like them or not, you are not obligated to go ahead. Also if they feel they’re not the right person for you most of them will let you know and may even recommend another person from the network. Best part is you get someone that will hype you up no matter what and will help you reduce the stress that comes with birth and its planning xx

Hi love you are lucky you have a great husband My husband told me to got pregnant Since I got pregnant he lives the house his mum told him to live I put camera I heard there conversation the mum is saying so many bad things about me And my husband hate my family He was abusing me in front of my 2 girls I was crying everyday, Since he lived the house he can’t even massage me or call me and he was praying for boy And it’s a boy Am feeling very lonely and depressed My family they are not here just my brother alone But I have very supportive family calling me 3 times a day But what I want support from husband because is our baby am at work now feeling depressed but I can’t tell no one because they will talk about me I have good friends supportive ones But I need the father But he hate me His mum is very wicked It’s worst thing that will happen a woman after pregnancy u partner lives u

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