Gutted

I feel sad. My friends have left me behind for some reason maybe it’s because I became a mum said no to a few events and focused on my child. They make plans like going to the zoo with the kids and I’m not even thought about. Constant stories on social media posting pictures calling themselves best friends and I’m not included. I’m coming to terms with it but it just got to me tonight. We recently went to a wedding all together I didn’t know their jokes and stories they send gifts amongst themselves for new jobs and things that I don’t find out about straight away. We all work together. One of these friends is my manager but it’s funny since getting back from Mat leave I can’t help but feel like we’re all on opposite shifts. I barely see them. She has scheduled my return to work on days off. There has been other falling outs in the group which I tried to remain neutral but maybe I haven’t and they’ve black listed me. I’ve always felt a sense of loss of identity since becoming a mum, not much money to buy nice clothes, not confident in my personality finding myself boring. I’ve been trying to message them but it’s just not there, short small talk which is taking days to get a response sometimes. I’m also trying to help my nearest family members that are struggling financially at the moment I feel like I’m failing with that. Some things just aren’t nice at the moment. If anyone has any kind words after reading this I’d love to hear them I’m currently up at 2am crying about it all. Also getting married next year and I don’t know how to tell my fiancé it feels like the worst time. I’m not feeling like my old happy self. Not sure about if I’ll have a hen do at this rate or if these “mates” will even come. I would rather just go and get married quietly now.

Show your support

Sending you hugs! They aren’t really your friends if they’re behaving like that and quite frankly, I’d call them out for it if it were me. Alternatively, just retreat quietly, then try and make some new mum friends, local baby groups etc. Try and have a day where you can do some self care just for you. Dad can deal with the baby. You deserve your be able to focus on yourself. I would also suggest speaking to your gp or referring to talkworks or similar to talk about your feelings and how they’re impacting you daily. You may have pp depression. Surround yourself with people who make you feel good and you don’t have to question them. Your “friends” have shown you your place with them so I’d adjust accordingly. I’m sorry you’re feeling this way. Some girls never grow out of being highschool bullies

I completely agree with Mel. I have no other words of advice but didn’t want to read and move on without sending hugs x

I am sorry you are feeling this way. I completely agree with what was said above, ‘friends’ wouldn’t act like that. If it were me in that situation, I would explain how you feel to them, they may just be naturally getting closer and not notice how that is affecting you. But it would be good for the air to be cleared so that you all know where you stand. Try and be diplomatic about it, especially because you work together. If they do not see where you are coming from, it may be that you do as previously suggested, just retreat slightly and find a new circle of friends. I know that it is easier said than done, as I have also been through the process of creating a new friendship group after I moved areas… But you deserve to feel appreciated and included.

Thank you ladies your absolutely right. I’m slowly moving on myself. It’s part of life tbf and I’m choosing to make my own happiness. I have plenty of people that have my best interest at heart these guys aren’t friends they have no idea where I’m at in life. I’ve got some sertraline to start on to help short term while things feel intense. Thank you for taking the time to comment and support me through this! Much appreciated

‌

‌
‌

‌

‌
‌

‌

‌
‌

‌

‌
‌

‌

‌
‌

‌

‌
‌