Feeling left out…

Feel like your pp is making you look to deep into this.. maybe you should reply to a story and let them know it would've been nice to be considered. But the fact that they probably already know yoy they probably thought you'd be better off contacting them when you're ready.. I know it may feel the world is out to get you rn but I promise you it's not. Don't sit here behind your phone thinking they're being 'snake's when they're just having fun. Get in touch with them talk to them JOIN them! Goodluck your not alone 💓

@Mayte it genuinely does feel like the world is out to get me right now. In fact it did during my whole pregnancy and just got worse PP. I have asked them if there’s a reason as to why I didn’t get an invite. I just feel so alone rn😩

Your feelings are valid.. the way you go about it says alot more.. maybe read a book or find a hobby/goals that'll slowly get you out of that mindset. Wish you the very best 💛

@Mayte thanks so much 💞💞

You might have be the one doing inviting for the first couple of times at least. Personally I intentionally leave new moms alone for a couple months postpartum just because I know they need to rest and heal.

I’ve felt the same with my friends, 6 weeks pp and yesterday was the first time any friend visited me, once she saw how depressed I looked she took me and baby to a park for a walk. She visited because I asked about depression for cats because one of my cats is acting depressed, so I basically had to reach out first. If it feels too direct to ask about the invite, try reaching out about something else and let them take initiative because they might just think you want to be left alone.

Do you have a habit of not going before even when they did invite? What sticks out for me is the part where you said “I probably wouldn’t have gone as I’m not feeling myself just yet”, have you been invited before and not gone, maybe that’s why they didn’t invite? I dunno, just a thought. If that’s not the case then maybe reach out when you do feel ready and let them know you wanna do something. Or make a group invite like an “after baby celebration”.

@Alexandra aw that nice of your friend to take you out! It is possible that maybe our friends do think we want time alone/not ready to socialise yet. But I had specifically told my friend I could do with a break, which she then could have invited me. She instead said “oh it was last minute plans” I’m really hurt tbh

@Kellie nope😩 that’s the thing, I was the social butterfly before I fell pregnant! I was always there, I was the one making plans a lot of the time so I just don’t understand. Maybe I’ll reach out to them soon but right now I’m quite disappointed in them tbh

Oh ok. My group of gfs purposefully don’t invite me to any all-you-can-eat buffets coz I told them I don’t like going to those, I don’t have a big appetite and it’s not worth it for me so on a handful of occasions they’ve gone by themselves 😂 I’m not salty about that because I know if they did invite I will say no anyway, I usually do so they’ve stopped inviting me to those, they’re going again this Sat and she’s told me just before they’re going, we’re the type to invite ourselves if we hear about it and wanna go with. Any restaurant/bar/cafe I will go even clubs….but buffets, no. But sounds like you’ve found out after the fact 😒 sorry to hear OP. That sucks

@Kellie haha see that makes perfect sense! They don’t invite you to something they know you wouldn’t like. But they KNOW I like a drink and haven’t had one in 10 months, they know I like to dance, they know I like to hear some good music and most importantly before they even said they were going out I said “ I really need a break I feel so low”. That was the perfect time to invite me I wish I had the confidence to invite myself but I don’t, I was raised with the “if you’re not invited, don’t ask” mentality unfortunately, probably a bad mentality to have and can stop you from enjoying certain social situations

Your friends might need a little more information from you to get to your desired outcome. Remember, a lot of this is happening in your head, and you're saying "they know this" and "they know that." They may not know specifically know you want to be invited if you can't come to something, and even if they do, it may not be top of mind when they are planning a night out. They may, ironically, be trying to spare your feelings by not rubbing it in that they are going out while you're busy at home. Or more likely they're just busy thinking about kids and other things. If you commented on their pics with something like "missing my besties!" I bet they'd respond with something validating, and maybe an invite for something. If you sent them a text, they'd respond. You don't have to go through this alone, but you need to reach out! It's ok to be vulnerable and tell them you were hoping to be invited to things. Once you've said it out loud and they know it's on your mind, I bet they'll change course. 🙂

@Bonny I think I will have to be vulnerable and let them know that I was hoping for an invite and that I’m up for coming out and having a good time with them, like the old days. Things will be different as I’m a mum now and they know that. I will shoot my friend a text tomorrow about this ☺️