Telling my gf I’m pregnant after she miscarried 💔

So I’m in my early weeks of pregnancy, this will be my second baby and it is a planned pregnancy. However, I fell a lot quicker than I expected and I’m so so lucky and extremely grateful (have auto immune disease) One of my best friends recently had a miscarriage after 18 months of trying for baby #2. I feel so awful for her that she has struggled so long and then lost her baby. I don’t want my news to hurt her so I guess I’d like to know how I can tell her I’m pregnant? I didn’t even have a chance to tell her we were trying for a baby because I didn’t see her for 2 months while she was recovering mentally and I didn’t want it to be a text conversation. I also don’t want this to be, but I think she will take it better if it is.

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Hi- having suffered three losses myself, I really appreciated friends telling me over text, it meant I could have a cry and be jealous and scream and get all my ugly emotions out, and then reply with a congratulations message when I was ready. I think most women who’ve suffered loss will feel super happy for you and want to celebrate with you, but also will feel jealousy and sadness that it’s not them, so my advice would be to give her time to process, be there for her in her grief but also let her be there for you in her own way xx

@Amy thank you, I appreciate you sharing this. I think text is the best way too. Can I ask what you said? Or would say? I’m just lost for words and don’t know where to begin.

@Amelia thank you! I 100% agree with you. I know she will need time to process it all and I don’t want to push her

@Amy that’s so considerate of you, very well written 🩷 thank you so much

I agree that letting her know by text is the best way, it will give her time to feel however she feels and then come back to you in her own time. I was told in person and I felt I had to show I was fine and reassure the other person that it was okay. The fact that you are worried about her feelings means that I'm sure you will be as considerate as you can be in this situation ❤️

I struggled with infertility. The best way to find out is through texts. Several people I knew told us in person and even though I was SO happy for them, it hurt so much too. I remember keeping it together until they left and then just bursting into tears. Text gives her the opportunity to feel all her emotions. She's going to be so, so happy for you. I always was when my friends told me! But it also just sucks when it feels like everyone gets it easier than you, so she will appreciate having the opportunity to process on her own! You're a good friend for considering her emotions ❤️

Grief and happiness can co exist. While she would be super happy for you, a little part of her will still be grieving for own loss. Text sounds like a good idea, giving her the space and time to register the news and respond to you. But please do let her know. All the best! 💕

Agree with the others that text is best, but PLEASE try and send it when you know she is at home. Don’t want her to read it at work, in the middle of the supermarket etc and get upset. You’re a good friend ❤️

Thank you everyone 🩷

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