Cliquey Mum Groups

I’ve recently joined/been acquainted with a group of mums (and our babies). I’ve always been a bit reluctant to do so due to hearing of how ‘cliquey’ they can be, and also considering I’ve never been one to do well within big groups, especially girls/women, throughout my life. I’ve had bad experiences. In other words, I’ve always preferred to just hang out with 1 or 2 friends at a time as I tend to get drowned out and uncomfortable within a group setting. But was super proud of myself for stepping out of my comfort zone and going along to days out with mums and babies. Well, I bit the bullet and tried to put myself out there and step out of my comfort zone in order to help myself, while stuck at home on maternity leave, and meet new people (not to mention doing the best I can for my own baby to socialise and be around other little ones). However I’ve been reminded of why I was so scared of doing it before, as I’ve experienced the same issues that I always have done where a ‘group’ is concerned. I’ve found myself getting really upset over being left out of plans made with the other mums, seeing posts and pics from their days out together and plans made without my knowledge or an invite. I don’t know what I’m doing wrong? I’ve tried my very best to include myself and engage with something I find super difficult anyway and now I’ve been made to feel shunned once again. Any advise? What am I suppose to do? I feel so down, depressed and lonely, yet I also don’t want to bring it up and cause an issue or give any reason to be segregated even more. 😞😞

Show your support

My best advice is to be the “leader” of your own “clique”- just like i would give this advise to my daughter: is find your tribe, don’t force anything, if you know what it feels like to be left out of something then make your own plans and invite ppl you think you might like. Don’t give up. Find the people that you do feel comfortable with find the people that you don’t need to feel like you’re putting on a show or you need to act excited for or activities that you’re really not into. We’re adults, don’t take it personal. Remember, no one owes you anything, not an invite, not an explanation or anything. Don’t set yourself up for disappointment or failure by having certain expectations that play out in our head. You got this mama. Never stop stepping outside of your comfort zone. It’s the only way to grow. ❤️ sending positive vibes your way ✨

Also don't like big groups. Was going to mom groups and gave up. So nothing wrong with you. You can figure out a social setting that fits you. Build your own tribe.

I haven't made any new mum friends apart from this one babygroup. I spend most days just spending time with my kids. I'm nearly 40 and I've had some really bad friendships and relationships and don't know if I can be bothered with that again

Hey dear ... if they didn't miss your presence means then how can you expect begin social with them was going to be good for your little one too.... if not true or that is making you really bad means just remove those things from priority... Someone truthful comfortable ppl will come around the way, keep trying it's nothing wrong in it.

I definitely feel like the outcast or awkward mum when there are a group of Mums with their babies/toddlers. I figured at first it might be tough but I'd find my 'people', I make conversation where ever I go but like you I've not had the invitations & it feels like getting picked last at school, I'm not one of the trendy Mum's that talk about the latest episode of Love Island, have a full face of makeup, get their hair & lashes done. I still go to groups because it's good for my little one to socialise as I only have one child. I've recently met a Mum that was so open & easy to talk to, I think because she was a experienced Mum she didn't care about image & recognises the benefit a community of Mum's can be. I'm a SAHM & it can feel really lonely, I find activities for us to do at home in the garden, at the park or go on local walks it helps break up the time. Try to focus on the relationship you have with your little one xx

‌

‌
‌

‌

‌
‌

‌

‌
‌

‌

‌
‌

‌

‌
‌

‌

‌
‌