Anyone else?..

I’ve felt like this for a long time but it’s gradually getting worse.. I do suffer with depression and anxiety and other mental health conditions too, but I literally feel like my brain is melting or degrading each day I wake up. I get NO pleasure, happiness, excitement or stimulation from absolutely anything or anyone. I feel stuck in my life and there’s literally nothing I can do to change any of it. I purely exist so my brats can order me around all the time. Outside of that and being a full time parent to 3 sen kids aged 6 and under and currently 25 weeks with my 4th, I’m nobody. I don’t have any friends or family. I don’t get to go places and even if I had the chance I’d rather lie in my bed and cry everyday than face going outside and dealing with the pressures of society. I HATE being a parent. I always wanted to have children and thought it’d be the best thing ever, how wrong was I? I HATE IT. I love my kids. But they absolutely drain every ounce of life out of me and I completely lost who I was before having kids. I feel like I’m literally as much use as a chocolate teapot. I bring nothing to the table, I fuck up every situation, I can’t keep friendships or relationships because nobody wants an unstable person in their life, and I feel like I’d rather be bound to a wheelchair on life support having people look after me for a change than waking up every morning at every beck and call and try to be a role model for the kids that have no idea how shit real life really is. I’m here trying to sugar coat adult shit so my kids don’t suffer but I’m draining myself just by having to think of everything. There’s no point to this post, I just needed to vent.