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It’s kind of heartbreaking ☹️
Here in the US, a decent few parents are waiting to become parents til their ,30s... But after a certain point, some just aren't really trying to have kids anymore. We decided at 36 that if we kept waiting it would never happen. So we started trying at 36.5.... got pregnant a few weeks after I turned 37... And a few days after hubby did.... Had my son 37 weeks and 3 days pregnant 😳 a tiny 5 pounds 8 ounces at birth 🥰 ... That was 06/21/23 🥰 we turned 38 last October. Baby turns one on 06/21/24 🥰 .... And we turn 39 this year
The economy here is a mess, honestly. And college debt is awful for many people
Girl same. When people cancel last minute it drives me crazy like 1- it’s taken ages to prep clothes, bottles feed times nappy changes ect. And 2- I was looking forward to some adult conversation and an extra pair of hands. How old is your LO?
I have a couple friends that are single but they don’t cancel on me I think that’s the difference. I usually just go to their house and have a girls night in. I meet lots of them at my hobby group as well and we chat and talk there but yeah I meet one and befriend one every couple weeks. My mum friends I see during the week or weekend if they work FT. If anyone is gonna cancel last minute it’s more likely to be a mum w kids than a single gal in my experience
Awww congrats @Elizabeth 🥰
@Naomi OMFG that part! Frustrating to say the least. He’s 1 and a half 😊 yours? X
@Jess thanks 😊
Our friends don't cancel on us... But it's harder to connect with them.... Because we're nonsmokers, minimal drinkers, don't cosplay ... And hubbys just not big on conventions .... And as parents.... Just a lot less in common to talk about
And they live in different places and have never really liked to come to us. When one friend lived with us.... Other friends would come hang out with him and not us ( this was before baby)
And when we lived at the beach area.... Nobody came to visit us
So our friends have usually been the " you come to me or meet me somewhere " type
@Elizabeth hmmm and do they have kids?
The only ones that have kids are the oldest ones of the group ... Who have grown kids and or grandkids too
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Most of us are 38/39
Oh really? I’m the only one who has kids out of my friends and it’s almost like being in a different universe to them. Have you found the conversations are a lot different now too?
Yeah. We talk about baby related things ... But also we're trying to start a business, so how that's going. But there's definitely other topics. But yeah.... We don't have similar hobbies other than gaming
I can relate. 1 of my friends that I've been friends with since jr high doesn't have kids yet. To me, the only time we hang is when I initiate it, and I'm so over that. So I asked her why and she said bc I have a kid. Girl so??? All u gotta do is ASK IN ADVANCE. I don't do last minute plans due to having a kid but don't make it seem like we can't ever do anything just bc I have a kid. All I ask is that u ask in advance and I'll figure out a sitter. Don't just assume. That's the issue with her. I have another friend with 5 kids ! Her issue isn't asking in advance, the issue with her is, like u said , I feel like I've outgrown the friendship . I've always been a good, quiet, out the way, drama free ,introverted person since I was a kid. But since becoming a mom, I've matured even more. She hasn't. Not like me she hasn't. So I feel like I've outgrown her. We don't think the same and etc
And then my friends that I have that do have kids ... Most have older kids ... Not you g kids
Yes I feel this! The friends I did have that don't have kids just don't understand that he's a priority over going out partying or drinking. And tbh even the friends that are still around that that isn't a priority they will always message me super short notice and then question why I've had to bring my boy with me, and it's like you gave me 2 hours notice girl what was I supposed to do?! Leave him at home by himself?!
@Brittany I’ve noticed that I’ve been initiating a lot too! Just because we have kids doesn’t mean we’re not able to do things that are unrelated to kids 🙃 Last Tuesday was my birthday and it was the most loneliest and uneventful one to date! Don’t get me wrong, I’m grateful to see another year but I wanted to go out, have drinks, dance and catch a vibe…there was none of that. I love travelling too and even that’s been a struggle to make it happen. And you’re right, being a mother does accelerate your maturity and I’m tired of having ‘surface’ conversations 🙄 like where’s the depth? What happened???
@Rebecca ughh man, they really don’t get it 🫤
Hey girl I completely get this, I’m not going through it hi have been in this situation previously with a long term friend. We just couldn’t relate, I’d talk about my kids and she’d talk about her dog 🤦🏼♀️ I’m from south London, maybe we can arrange a play date or something?
@Jess Hi, we are at the same table. 😓 My LO was only a month old when I turned 33 last year, and I felt so lonely that I couldn't do anything for my birthday. This year, I'm worried it might not be any different. I noticed you live in SE—maybe we could be friends?
@Jess girllll frfr !
I feel this, being the awkward stage of older new mom.... Whose friends don't have kids