I think my ttc journey is officially on involuntary hiatus

I’ve been trying for almost 4 years I had irregular periods so my doctor gave me letrozole and after upping my first dosage I got pregnant and then when I was 12 weeks found out I had a missed miscarriage. That killed me and I was extremely emotionally distraught for a yr but I was having regular periods so my doctor said I should just try naturally now that I’m having a cycle. a yr of that and nothing so I asked for letrozole. she let me try one dose and it didn’t work so she suggested me a specialist who doesn’t take my insurance but I did a consultation anyway and she said until I lose 50lbs she can’t help me. So I’m trying to lose the weight and just trying naturally. I’m struggling losing the weight and idk what happened but I’m currently on cd 54 💔 Took a test a few days ago because for almost 2 weeks I’ve had discomfort and a fullness feeling in my uterus and my lower back has been hurting and my boobs are sore and I’m nauseous but the test looked negative. The first time I was pregnant I did start experiencing symptoms early and tested positive at 3 weeks but I don’t think that’s it. Before meds and my lost baby I was having a period 3-4 times a yr. There’s nothing I can do rn except keep trying to lose the weight and it breaks my heart since I want this so bad but my husband is also really concerned about paying thousands for the specialist then paying for the baby furniture and other expenses. Plus he has kids (who I love so much) that he has shared custody of and I would have to extremely cut back on the thing I pay for them for the treatments and it all makes me feel guilty