Very lonely single mum

I'm 31, single mum, find it incredibly hard to keep friends. I don't know why but I get along with people just fine but my social anxiety prevents me from making plans, because in my mind no one actually likes me. The last time I pushed myself to meet up with someone was 7 months ago, and before that i cant even remember. I have family nearby but I'm not close to them at all, the only person I was close to was my dad who passed away a couple of years ago unexpectedly and I am still so heartbroken about it. I haven't spoken to my mum in 18 years, i spend my weekends off sitting scrolling my phone, and have started drinking at every opportunity (when my 3yo is with her dad at the weekend). I'm getting in such a rut and cry most days, and the thought of just ending it all is crossing my mind more and more. The only thing keeping me here is I can't bare the thought of my little girl thinking she wasn't enough. I just can't see anyway out of this miserable existence

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Feel free to message me. I live out of town, so I'm home most days, and I dont have many people come to visit me, so I usually do video call :)

🥺 so sorry to read this. I’m exactly the same in terms of getting on with people but just will not make plans cuz of anxiety. The only relationships I’ve made or kept for years are with ppl who basically force it to happen. I wonder if there are any kind of groups or courses u could attend where the focus isn’t necessarily on socialising but something nice like learning a new craft or something… although maybe you are feeling a little too fragile just yet for that idk. A smaller thing that might help a tiny bit if u don’t already, I know for me one thing that helps is listening to podcasts and audiobooks. It keeps me out my head and gives me the stimulation that I might get from socialising but without the effort or anxiety. Also idk what support might be available to you or that u may be interested in directly to help u with the grief. I’m sure that will be having a huge impact on your motivation to maintain relationships.

Also keep in mind how little your daughter still is, we’re still deep in the trenches at this age especially as single mums. To have been doing this for that long without family support you must be absolutely exhausted and that won’t be helping with your mental health, but hopefully that part eases up soon as she gets older. Again I’m so sorry you’re going through this alone. I hope you can find something that helps you to start to turn things in the other direction even if it’s a long road xxxxx

Is he happy to be chat, if you need a someone to listen to you . you can message me directly.

So sorry to read this! Feel free to message me as well. Your probably not located near me (Bonn,Germany) but maybe we could text or video chat😊

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