Miscarriage support

My cousin had 2 within 6 months and she got several baskets from friends, mostly with self care type items like cozy blankets, fuzzy socks, candles, at home spa items, etc. I know she appreciated the thought more than anything and knowing people cared. Also just checking in on them and letting them know you are thinking of them and ask if they want to talk about it. I've heard from some friends the hardest part was people felt so taboo about it and didnt know what to say, so they would just not say anything and that left the person feeling very alone and isolated from the ones who love them.

When I went through my two previous losses last year I just cried and ate some of my favorite things. I don't think about it much anymore because I have a toddler to raise and he brings me so much joy. The only person who knows about the losses is the father of my son since these were his children as well. For me getting pregnant is not the problem but staying pregnant is.

So I know that I am not the norm, and when in the pregnancy the miscarriage happened as well as if there was difficulty getting pregnant. mine was a missed miscarriage found at 10 weeks and even though we're older, it's been very easy for us to get pregnant when we've wanted. For the loss, it felt like everyone else was making a bigger deal about it than I was, which made me feel guilty. I'd logic-ed that nature knew what it was doing and there was likely something that wasn't going to keep baby viable with life outside. Obviously most people have more sentimental reactions. I was mostly angry because I felt my time was wasted... and that to have another baby, I was going to have to go through first tri all over again, which is definitely the worst trimester. What was easiest for me was the "wow that really sucks" response and people being willing to offer support. I also learned that at least 4 of my friends/coworkers had also experienced losses.

Again it would really depend on the person, but if you really wanted to do a gift, I would include a bottle of wine or beverage of choice. Mama had obviously given them up, and even if they are going to try again right away, she'll still have a little time that she doesn't need to abstain entirely. If there us the right morbid sense of humor you could go full charcuterie and also a coupon for a sushi dinner. But really just being there for them is probably the best you can do.

I went through 2 early misscarriages within 7 months and the second definitely hit me harder than the first. I was very lucky though that I had friends that would check in on me a few times a week. I enjoyed having some super bubbly candlelight baths. The most annoying thing to hear was the 'dont worry you're still young' when you're over 30.