Should I try harder?

She keeps referencing how it is something that isn’t going to change. Do you both have different views on a core belief? Politics? Religion? Etc. If it’s not something like that you can think of, it’s not fair for her to say it’s something that isn’t going to change. I would maybe make one more effort, in person if possible. “Hey I’d really like a chance to talk through what’s going on I really love and cherish our friendship. I can’t pinpoint what I’ve done / am doing that makes you uncomfortable. Maybe we can talk over coffee soon?”

As a best friend it’s very weird for her not to say what the problem is if you continue to ask.After a while I would probably just give her distance and stop talking to her because it’s a little childish at least your trying to figure out and it shows you care.We’re grown don’t have time for games.

I'm so sorry you're dealing with that. Honestly, I would give distance and stop reaching out. There's nothing you can do to try harder than asking a few times. Her refusal to tell you and just ice you out is not fair nor is it mature. You can't know if it's something that could change if she doesn't tell you. She's not even giving you a choice. And if it's truly something that can't be changed, and you can't think of anything that happened, it's probably something she shouldn't be made it in the first place.

I would tell her that things have already changed just like you've said here and tell her how this situation has made you feel and honestly if she still loves you like she said she be worried about that. I personally would put all my cards on the table and if she still won't try to sort things out then I would leave it. So sorry you have to deal with that, I've had a similar experience in the past and it crushed me, I don't think I've ever gotten over it tbh.

None of the above. Drop it. Still talk to her like normal and see her like normal. Don't push her for an answer about it. She's not ready to tell you. It's obviously not some little thing like something you said. It's obviously deeper, some kind of systematic underlying issue.

I'd ask one more time and emphasise that her current cryptic behaviour isn't helping. If she continues with it then I'd just stop reaching out. I can't be bothered with that sort of nonsense. Either tell me what the issue is and we can resolve or part ways with everyone knowing why. The mystery part is attention seeking and pathetic.

Ummm yeah. Ditto to everything @Sara (the first commenter) said. Also I NEED to know what it was now!! 👀 🍿 🫖 🙏🏼

I would honestly send her one last text explaining that things have already changed between you two and that you’re already feeling tension. That you love her and if there’s something you’ve done you want to try and rectify it, but you can’t do that if she won’t talk to you. Tell her that after this message you intend to give her space and when she’s ready to talk you’ll be there. Hope this helps 🖤

@Ella it’s a little hard to play it off as normal when she is actively being different about things so idk. We wouldn’t have full on conversations every day, but we would at least Snapchat every day but right now we’re at the point where she will take hours or the next day to even open it (used to be instantly) and just not reply, or be very short and different tone with her responses

@Sara there’s nothing like that that we have different views on. We don’t talk about that stuff really but I know we’re on the same standing points at least. I might try again later on but right now I’m feeling so discouraged and honestly just sad

@Ifeoma yesterday is when I tried asking again and that second answer is what she gave me, to which I did reply basically saying “if you’re being distant then that’s already something that has changed. I’d like to at least know what I did or said wrong to make these feelings come up, than to sit and wondering forever trying to figure it out” but she didn’t answer 😪 yeah it’s definitely a really shitty experience that I’m struggling with bad right now

Thank you for all the advice I appreciate it

@Rosalie well I did end up getting the answer if you still want that… there is definitely a lot of backstory that plays into this but ugh I’m so mad at myself for not realizing that that’s what was the breaking point

Omg, that was actually my first guess, that maybe she doesn't like your partner. Well. Things don't have to be awkward because she doesn't like your partner. Although you should stop talking about him to her. My best friend doesn't like my partner and it hasn't killed our friendship I assume you have reflected deeply about the relationship and already decided you don't want to leave him? If not, these messages would be a good opportunity to do so.

And..... you know.... probably be a good idea to apologise for being on your phone every time you hang out with her. And consciously change that behaviour.

@Ella I’ve definitely reflected a lot on the relationship but there is still a lot of back and forth that I’m trying to figure out. Lately ive been leaning on the side of “leaving”, but just a lot that still needs to be figured out.. apologized instantly lol just working on giving her a better explanation for some things

Obviously life and relationships are complicated, but I think you should leave him. I think she's right.