Feeling guilty

Don't feel guilty, whatever is right for you is the right thing! I similarly considered a C-section with my first baby as I was frankly terrified and no one actually clearly said what happens when you give birth - there's a massive information gap. It's not actually that scary, and the sensations were familiar to me in the end. It happens in 2 stages, the first contractions stage just feels like period pains (albeit at regular intervals) and the pushing phase is like extreme diarrhea, your body just convulsively starts pushing the baby out. I don't know if that helps at all, but I wish someone would have told me that first time round! Either way, don't feel guilty if you go for a C-section!

I had a c-section with my first and it was considered a cat 2 at 42+1 (so overdue) due to meconium in waters. I was at 6cm and you can birth vaginally with the meconium but had already had an exhausting 3 days in hospital and it is slightly more risky and I just totally collapsed into tears and went with a c-section. I did have a lot of regret/what if’s after it as I didn’t know if I made the right call and hated the c-section experience. It is major surgery and even now my scar gives me bother at times. The drugs made me shake so much that I couldn’t hold her for long and I then vomited several times after and you have to have blood thinning needles for a week after and I hate needles. I’ve made peace with the fact she got here safe and we were both fine. But will 100% trying for a VBAC this time. Just hope my body can go into labour. It is an individual choice but c-section for me is not a ‘easier’ choice. I felt less in control and there are still risks/unknowns. Cont.

The uterus/vagina however is designed to birth and I do believe in the physiological side of birth. However there are unknowns if it’s not straightforward or if you need induction etc. I think it’s natural to be anxious but would suggest as a start doing an hypnobirthing class or reading books to really inform yourself about birth. The option for a c-section doesn’t go away and you may go into labour and have a really positive vaginal birth. But maybe you say if by X weeks it’s not happened, I’d rather a c-section than induction. Or if you get to due date and change your mind you can do that too. Same as if you book a c-section but end up going into labour before you can decide to continue or cancel it. Nothing is concrete. There is like you say no wrong/right way and the main thing is getting baby here safe and hopefully having a positive experience. For me that wasn’t c-section and had very different ideas for my birth. But for some they love it.

Midwife Pip has a book covering all birth and a podcast with some great birth stories and educational info. on all types of birth so would recommend looking at her. The Positive Birth Company is a good book that really breaks down labour and options. The best thing you can do is get really informed as then you’ll feel better in whatever choice you make ❤️

I had an emergency section with my first. I originally wanted an elective and the hospital I was at was a nightmare they made me go to therapy for it and were being so funny so in the end I just decided I would try vaginally. I ended up getting sepsis and baby was very unhappy so was rushed for a section. My only regret is that I didn’t just go for an elective tbh. I had a really traumatic birth as a whole but I feel it would have gone this way if I’d had an elective. My recovery was really hard too. Next time I’m getting an elective and so happy that I am. I know many people that have done the same and said it’s like night and day, the elective is so much better. Make the best decision for you, you’ll have your baby either way 🥰

I had an elective and was very happy with my decision. There are always moments where I envy the friends who had really straight forward vaginal births but I don’t envy the ones that didn’t. My experience was very controlled and straightforward as was my recovery, I had music playing in the room and got all the usual things like skin to skin which was fab! Am hoping for the same kind of experience this time :)

The Birth-Ed podcast is great for information, plus listening to positive birth stories. However I found no matter how much I read and researched nothing prepared me for labour. Don’t feel bad for feeling anxious, it’s very valid, try to stay positive ♥️

In my opinion and past experience, an elective section is preferable to a traumatic/difficult vaginal birth but a straightforward vaginal labour is preferable to a c section. The issue is, you don’t know what you’re going to get! I laboured to 10cm and ended up with an emergency c section. Obviously with hindsight I would have chosen an elective section but I wasn’t to know what would happen. I’m now choosing between an elective or VBAC for my second. Your feelings are completely valid, please try not to feel guilty for doing what is best for you and your baby. The only thing I would say to consider with a c section is - do you want more children? C sections can increase the risk of complications in future pregnancies and they say if you want multiple babies, c section risks only increase with each baby. This is something people might forget to consider. My full dilation section has put me at increased risk of pre term labour and placental problems in this pregnancy.

But I didn’t have any choice so it’s not something I could control. People would refer to my birth experience as not positive and a horror story but I would challenge that and quite frankly take offence, I was blessed with my amazing healthy son, no matter how he got here. It’s completely natural to feel anxious. Do the right research, be informed and make the best decision for you and your baby xxx