Grieving
My dad passed away a few weeks ago unexpectedly. During this time I was distancing myself from him because of the negative things he said to me every time we talked. I feel so much guilt now. I'm trying to nav through this and it's only getting worse. It's been a struggle. After my dad died, my boyfriends daughter had a situation come up, and that was alot. Then my other family started to change. My mother started acting toxic and my sister as well. My brother had to rake care of everything my dad left and that was alot. He just told me that my dad's house was so bad it was barely liveable. It broke my heart to hear that. My dad wasn't a bad person. He just didn't agree with me on my life. I want more and he thought it was a waste of time and I couldn't do it. I'm in my final year of school for my associates.
Grief can be so complicated. I recommend trying to write your dad a letter. Let it all out. Another trick I'll let you in on. Therapistaid.com has worksheets that therapists can use in session with clients. If you find one on grief that interests you, you can use it as a tool to process your individual experience. It may be helpful to have a loved one on-call just in case it brings up very strong feelings while you process. You could have never known it was his time, and you are human. I hope you can let go of any guilt over time, as I'm sure he has already forgiven you. Wishing you peace, love.