What should I do?

*Long Read* So my baby daddy and I have been separated for about 2 years now but every so often he reaches out saying he wants to work it out. So here's the back story of why we aren't together. So I was married but the marriage had a lot of problems because of family on both sides not wanting us to be together. So during our break I end up meeting BD and we been on and off since 2016(basically every time me and hubby split). So 2020 we get divorced. BD and I get into a relationship and I become pregnant everything seems to be going good we happy and all. Then out of no where he started tripping being verbally and emotionally abusive. To the point I had to go to urgent care because I started bleeding and I thought I was losing the baby. I told him about my concerns and what happened at the hospital and all he could say was fuxk me and the baby imma ho and so on. So I decided to cut ties with him so I wouldn't lose the baby. This made him escalate. He started stalking me, calling CPS and the police making allegation, etc. So I ended up moving to a new city and got a restraining order. Which they only approved for a year. After the restraining order lapsed he started reaching out again and we decided to try and work it out for baby girl. Long story short it was cool until he put his hands on me. I ended up moving to another state after it happened which was 2 years ago. Now he's reaching out saying he wants to be a family again and that he will never put his hands on me again. I want with all my heart to believe him and a part of me wants to try and work it out but idk. He makes me feel good as there isn't many men I feel comfortable being myself around. Our relationship has always been feisty and fiery and we like having little debates(not a brawl or argument). Anyway he wants to come out this weekend and rekindle our relationship(if you know what I mean). But idk what to do my heart says yeah my mind say no. Any advice greatly appreciated! TIA

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Given the situation I would steer clear of it. There’s no sure way to know that he wouldn’t do it again. Putting you and your baby in danger was not ok and he knew that there would be consequences to his actions and he still did it. Definitely forgive him so that your life is easier and I’m not saying he can’t change. But really consider his past actions and try to remember how you felt during that time. That’ll be important. I’m not telling you what to do but it doesn’t sound safe

This sounds like an escalating situation. Situations like this don’t get better, they just keep getting worse. Your history with him shows that very clearly. You’ll also be living on eggshells, not just for yourself but for your daughter. You are her role model, what you allow is what she will see. My advice is be civil with the man but there’s no reason to be with him.

@destiny I know😞 it's sad that I'll even consider it but it's so hard finding a genuine man these days.

@Jessica Your right! It's just hard to be civil because he always wants to get intimate and it's hard to turn him down😮‍💨 it's only easy when we aren't talking or whatever.

You gotta stick strong to your will power, momma! Which is so much easier said than done, believe me, I know. But you don’t want this for yourself. I really hate when people say to me, “You deserve better.” I don’t know what I deserve, but I do know what I want. You have to ask yourself what you want for yourself and for your child. Be realistic. Do you want a man that felt okay to hit you? Do you want to give him the permission to forgive himself by letting him back into your space? One day you have to say enough is enough and for you and your little one, I hope it’s before he does worse to you.

Don’t. I kept going back and it just got worse, for me and my kids.

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