Do you watch porn?

I definitely enjoy (ethically made!) porn sometimes. I think you should try and explore *why* you feel bad about it. Religious guilt? Concern over the exploitative nature of the industry? Shame for doing something you feel like a woman "shouldn't"? Do you have the same feelings if you masturbate without porn?

Nothing wrong with it, blokes do it all the time so we definitely shouldn't feel bad for it!

I think maybe the point you made of the exploitative nature of it and just how it feels so invasive like after I feel disgusted like why did I watch that. I’m not religious etc. I just don’t get why I feel so horrible afterwards. Like I said I don’t watch anything full on or extreme

I understand feeling guilty watching it because while many of the women who star in porn are confident and happy with their choice, there are many that do it out of desperation or because of low self esteem or self worth.

Nope.

Hi, my hubby and me both used to be addicted to it and also felt horrible afterwards always. We decided to stop not because of religion etc. but mainly because we think it highjacks your dopamine levels really badly without putting any type of input. So let's say, me flirting with my hubby all day, sending him naughty stuff, putting on new lingerie, trying new things in bed, going on dates and THEN doing it feels 10000& more satisfying longterm than googling pornhub and going straight to orgasm in 10 min. It might be not the same reason for you though. No shame ❤️❤️❤️ done it too!

I only feel gross reading titles that involve family members as an example. The rest personally doesn’t bother me at all. We’re watching consenting, paid adults. You gotta navigate what it is doesn’t line up with you and go from there.

Try watching feminist porn. It’s possible you feel bad because porn for men can objectify women.

If you're into p*** I recommend Lust Films by Erika Lust , she's a female porn director and bad ass .. she gears it towards women.

@MJ_xo Can I ask you how you don't get self conscious about it?😬 I mean, so many popular porn videos have specifically women on there that have so many surgeries done, make up and hair done, everything and for the vast majority of real life women that's not achievable. And doesn't it make you feel some type of way that your partner can look right into somebody's pussy?😬

@Daria it’s like watching actresses in movies and pretty girls in social media. I separate it from real life and know it’s unrealistic

I don’t watch it too often, maybe once or twice a month around when I’m ovulating and really want an orgasm (partner never makes me orgasm during sex) so that’s when I’ll watch it but after I feel disgusted. But I’m not sure how to mastabate without watching anything? I would love not to watch it and find other ways to self pleasure

Porn is great! But if you’re feeling like you want to explore other options, erotica and reading works well for me.

You can do it without watching anything! The climax may just take longer. I picture a hot time between my hubby and I and get into it that way. Or look at a picture of us in our room. It helps that I find him so attractive lol.

Thanks for this, what is erotica and what books would you recommend?

@MJ_xo It is unrealistic however if he gets off on it, it means that that's what he likes. That's why it would make me feel super self conscious cause I am like none of those porn stars😫

Totally get you!

@Daria I see what you mean now. I don’t watch with my hubby. But I know he watches from time to time. It doesn’t bother me bc when I watch, what gets me off is the act. Not how the people look. Obviously I watch people that are attractive but that’s not really watch I’m paying attention to 😂👉🏻👌🏼 and once it’s done, I don’t think twice about it/them. So I’d imagine it’s the same for my husband.

Erotic fiction, ‘smut’ books - depends what you’re into, but there are lots of websites out there with free to read erotic stories or fan fiction, or books wise think 50 shades if bondage is your thing, and look for related or similar titles. Give it a google and see if anything takes your fancy :)

@Daria and you’re beautiful. Own it. I saw you have a brand new baby. Me too. I don’t feel so hot right now 😩 but you get your groove back 💃🏻

I absolutely do, I have sex daily or every two days. But still have urges to watch porn, and I will if I need to. My partner knows this, and he's fine with it. He understands my sex drive is high.

I used to feel guilt, but I really think it’s a thing of society that has made a point to shame women for self pleasure. When I was younger I felt wrong for it. Very natural, the act of watching something to help you get off too. Nothing wrong with it

I personally stopped watching it a few years ago. It's addictive and releases dopamine, which isn't always a good thing. Porn literally rewires your brain, so you're always looking for the next best hit. It's a reason you can sit scrolling for long periods of time looking for the perfect video to get off on. It can cause hypersexuality where you literally need to get off all the time and can affect your relationship as sex just isn't as satisfying. It seems extreme, but porn does change your chemistry. I still get off but without porn and with my partner now. I genuinely thought it was my sex drive being extremely high, but I was just addicted to porn. I feel like I've found balance now.

I used to believe there was nothing wrong with it until I did the research. There's a lot wrong with it. Porn industry is a heavy contributing factor to sex trafficking millions of victims suffer every year for the pleasure of others. The majority is unethical, and there's some kind of power dynamic involved. Aside from that messes up your brain chemistry. So many men and women are unable to reach satisfaction because of porn consumption. People will convince you not to trust your gut do not listen to them.

https://fighttoendexploitation.org/breaking-down-the-connection-between-pornography-and-sex-trafficking/ https://pmc.ncbi.nlm.nih.gov/articles/PMC10399954/ https://endsexualexploitation.org/articles/pornography-changes-the-brain/ Some of the research. Do not watch porn it's horrible!

What’s normal porn?

Porn is only entertaining when you're a virgin. After losing your virginity, it's not entertaining (at least to me) 🤷🏽‍♀️

OP, be wary of anti-porn rhetoric and "studies" that find porn to be harmful. A lot of them are funded by Christian fundamentalists and a lot of anti-porn arguments are rooted in radfem ideology. Yes, there are problems of exploitation and trafficking, and there are ways to be a more ethical consumer. But a lot of the arguments demonizing porn as a whole without any nuance stems all the way back to Andrea Dworkin and purity culture and eventually comes packaged with a whole lot of other SWERF and TERF baggage. Women shaming women goes back a long long time, and it's very possible that you've internalized some of it yourself which could be part of the reason why you feel bad every time you watch porn.

@Carolyn 🤣🤣🤣😂 how is it women shaming women when nobody should be consuming something that is one of the major parts of sex trafficking. It's not a religious thing it's an ethical and moral value thing. If you want to continue to contribute to sexual violence against women and men, then do so, but don't make it about religion. As someone who works with kids who have been sex trafficked and videos of them posted on porn hub, i would never watch that shit. If you want to get off on people's pain, you're terrible asf. There's so many other forms of pornaghrapy that don't involve people on screen.

@Janni ❤️ because a lot of anti porn rhetoric is rooted in radfem rhetoric, and the consequence of that is generally it's women feeling the brunt of shame and guilt over men. And radfems have a tendency of bullying other women instead of bullying men (because punching down is easier than punching up.) Radfem rhetoric is basically purity culture, and very hard to separate from its religious roots. Not ALL porn-critical arguments are lacking in nuance and/or SWERFy, but a lot of them are. You can tell when porn is all painted with the same brush without regard for porn created by women, e.g. OF or erotic fiction (as two broad examples).

@Carolyn That doesn't change the fact women are being raped and forced into sex work. It also doesn't change the fact both men and women are forced to write up contracts and aren't compensated. Nobody is talking about pornagraphy as in books,and cartoon shit. I'm saying the involvement of people is fucked. Alot of the women content is stolen and they aren't compensated you should not be a contributing factor. The u.s has the highest rate of child human trafficking the porn industry has a huge part in it. But you want to justify it to get the big O when you can get that in other forms.

@Carolyn https://fightthenewdrug.org/ They are non religious organization Videos on YouTube from former porn stars / sex trafficked survivors. https://youtu.be/Hq4gDLeI9k4?si=JMhXD7kUFxMkGviF https://youtu.be/TLP9mtCc3Jk?si=AQtMqYn7fPA59CiZ https://youtu.be/pikvDbl31sU?si=BoSX_U3WUmCcF3_q https://youtu.be/mrGqzpkkP3Q?si=NAFP3XFFK9sSzw0r https://youtu.be/zy2kR1zFwjQ?si=C0fvpLASTJWva-hi Don't consume things people are being exploited for its wrong. There's no way to possibly justify it. If you watch porn involving people, you are the problem period.

....literally that very first link is founded by Mormons 🤦🏻‍♀️🤦🏻‍♀️🤦🏻‍♀️ I'm not arguing with a radfem about this nonsense. I posted a warning for OP, it's her choice to heed it or not. Pretty sure you're the hypocrite who twisted herself in knots refusing to accept actual science when I posted it anyway so you can get blocked. Bye radfem ❤️

Me and my husband watch it together it improves our sex life more

I see it as cheating so I don’t bc I wouldn’t want my husband to but that’s really it.