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@Jessica my son is only 11 months old… and he demanded 50/50 custody. I can’t imagine getting a baby taken From me…
When he found out about the child you wouldn’t be able to hide who the father is. And if you tried he could easily ask for dna. So if it turns out you are pregnant I would let him know.
@Jessica oh also know that he had a BM before me that has a daughter who’s 4 now…
@Sydney but I don’t want to have to share…
I understand that. But the backlash of not saying could be bad. You already have a kid together so it’s not like you can hide the fact you have the baby. Ide be 100% honest
What happened with contact for the 11month old ? Did he get 50/50 or something? Are you in the UK? I made the mistake telling my baby's father about the pregnancy, his birth etc. He didn't want to know now he's hell bent on making my life stressful. He's not sitting there sad wishing to see the child. He is so inconsistent doesn't even try to support financially (the guy has multiple cars, houses and businesses), hasn't bought a thing for the child (20m) yet wants him when he wants. It's so stressful. Baby doesn't even know him
Share? That would be a baby with two parents not a toy. Kids have a right to relationships with their parents.
yes i would say he should know esp considering there’s no abuse involved or safeguarding to the child? then there would be no reason for him not to be involved
It's not about sharing or what you don't want to do. It's about the child/children who deserve to have a relationship with their dad as long as he isn't a genuine safety risk. When you have kids it's time to grow up, put differences aside and do what's best for them.
You can likely get an accurate result if you test now. I wouldn't even think about custody yet until you get a positive test.
@Bethany I’m about 4 days till my period.. which is drop off day for my son…
@op but you can’t also take his baby away from him. He may want to be involved. If there’s no abuse and he’s a good dad, you would need to tell him he’s having another child. You can work it out before a baby comes what early newborn custody would look like. But also again, don’t over think anything yet. Wait until there is something to worry about.
Yall are right… I need to tell him.. I just don’t want him to come back just because I’m pregnant.. I don’t want him to think that I’m trying to ruin his fresh start… I still love him.. it just hurts because he doesn’t want me anymore.
I don't think you need to tell him anything until you have a positive test, you're not guaranteed to be pregnant. If it's negative, then issue solved. If it's positive you can work out what you both want to do going forward.
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Then if you end up pregnant,you need to say “Hey ? I know we recently decided to part ways and I will stand behind that decision. But you need to know that I have gotten a positive pregnancy test” Or something similar
Yeah agreed with Alex. Do not say anything until you have had positive tests
I wouldn’t think this far ahead cos you don’t know that it’s the case. He would obviously know, but this isn’t happening right this second. Cross that bridge when you come to it. He decided to have sex unprotected like an idiot so 🤷🏻♀️
regarding your last comment…i totally get that feeling!! i found out my ex wasn’t being loyal so i ended the relationship near the middle of my pregnancy. after that i wanted nothing to do with him and wanted to cut him off and keep our baby all to myself. i didn’t want him to have her at all i promise you things will get bettter. and don’t let your emotions get in the way of your kid or kids having a relationship with their dad but yes if it comes up that you’re pregnant then you definitely should tell him. i am wishing you all the best though! take the time a take care of yourself. don’t let it be the main thing on your mind
Don't tell him girl. If he really wants the baby he better go fight in court for visitation. Let him be. Don't put him on the child birth certificate either.
UPDATE: I took a test this morning, it came back negative. So I guess now I can let go and start a new chapter… hopefully this one won’t hurt so bad.
Don’t risk sex with this man again
Don’t panic until you have a reason to panic. Don’t worry about saying anything to him until you get a positive test. If he’s involved in your current child’s life, and it’s a good relationship there, I’d see no reason in withholding it from him.