Step daughter problems help!

So my step daughter is 10 and ya I need some advice please. Her mom decided that because her “stomach hurt and she had headaches” that her period was going to start soon and of course it had to be a time when we would have her. The mom has told my husband that the doctor thinks the girl will start her period some time this year. Unfortunately this mom decided to give her a box of pads and a plushie that vibrates and no information at all…..so I had to have that conversation with this girl. Like she literally didn’t know how to put the pad in her underwear, didn’t know there will be blood down there soon, didn’t know it will come every month, literally didn’t know anything……so I sat down and talked her through everything and showed her how to put the pad in her underwear and told her how to expect her period to last 5 to 7 days of bleeding, how it comes every month and the best way to keep track is to mark it on a calendar…..she had a lot of questions and I felt bad that I’m just the step mom and had to explain everything. Me and her dad have been married for a year and have been together since 2022 but I treat her like she’s mine. I always buy double of any bathroom products like body scrubs and such which she loves, we love to do art together and she talks to me a lot so I hope I wasn’t overstepping boundaries by having that talk with her but she was so confused when I started to tell her what the pads were for and how a period isn’t just stomach pain…..she did make me laugh a little when she asked if our cat got periods and I said the cat is spayed so she can’t get periods and so she looked at the cat and said “melody you are so lucky to be spayed” I just wish her mom would have been the one to talk to her but I’m glad she trusts me to come to me to ask me about stuff like that. Her mom isn’t the best and I’m hoping soon we can get more custody of the kids because they deserve so much love ( we only get 20% custody because yay Florida being a mother state….) does anyone think I shouldn’t have had that talk with her and should have let her mother do that?

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I dealt with the same thing . I got a text from bm saying she thinks sd will get her period soon . I tried to ask about where that thought came from so I know how to approach the situation and she only replied saying “she kind of knows what a pad is” without further context . I talked to my husband about that communication and asked him if it was ok for me to have that talk with her and explained how typically it’s a mothers job to have that convo (because I didn’t want to overstep and I didn’t know how bm would react since she’s unpredictable). I just told sd that her mom reached out to me and said she might get her period soon and that I hope she feels comfortable enough to talk to me if she has any questions etc . I left it open ended and then a couple hours and days later she started asking me thjngs . But same I taught her everything . She’s not here often either I sent her home with a period care package so she’s prepared if she’s at school . Sure enough she got it at school

What else could you have even done? Put a pad on her underwear without saying anything and sent her back to mom's? Had her dad explain it to her? Or just left her with a book? No, you used your good relationship to do a good thing, and you did a good job. Mom had every warning to soften that ground and have whatever conversations she wanted. It would have been nice to have it happen at moms, but that isn't what happened. You handled the situation in front of you in a compassionate way and strengthened your relationship with sd. That's the best possible outcome.

Nah, you’re good. Mom could’ve explained more and didn’t 🤷🏾‍♀️ You did right by your kid. Anyone with a problem is the problem, at least in this context.

You’re totally fine! I take all conversations like that at my house since my step daughter doesn’t feel comfortable talking to her dad about her period, but she will talk to me about it. Her mom hasn’t taught her any basic hygiene like wearing deodorant, washing her face with cleanser, etc so I buy her the products she needs and teach her how to use them.

You didn’t overstep at all because mom should’ve stepped up and had this important conversation with her daughter and chose not to. Dad can’t explain it to her, or at least wouldn’t completely understand how, and if it happens while she is with the two of you then she needs this information so she isn’t traumatized and scared by not knowing what’s going on. You did right by her and gave her the necessary information she needed. 👏🏼❤️

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