How did you choose your doula?

Hey ladies! I’m having the hardest time choosing a doula. We have 3 candidates that we really like for different reasons. What was your deciding factor? How did you choose? Doula 1 lives close, walking distance, and has had several successful unmedicated births. We got on well over Zoom, but her energy matches mine maybe a little too well which might stress out my husband a bit. I’m very on, direct, and high energy in crisis situations while he prefers someone lower energy kind of mom vibes. Her package also offers a lot for what we’re paying. She really seems to align with the birth I want while still holding space for all the unknowns. May be away 1 weekend during early part of on-call window. She’s attended just under 100 births. 2nd doesn’t live as close, but has 15 years experience. Package costs the same as doula 1, and she has more of that firm but nurturing mother vibe. Also has supported several unmedicated births. Only one that has 0 travel plans in the on-call window. 3rd doula has the option of having her with a backup or doing a team. She’d be my top pick if she wasn’t going to be away for 10 days starting 3 days before my due date. I feel well aligned with her and one of her two partners. The third was harder to gauge. They all have about the same experience as Doula 1. I think doula 1 and 3 would be the most assertive in instances where I wasn’t up to it, but Doula 2 would help me find my own voice.

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While I totally respect and agree that Hubby should be considered in this decision you had the most to say about Doula 1. I think that’s who you vibe with the most and who you’d feel most supported by. Yes hubby is super important but YOU are the one actually experiencing and going through a very life changing and intense process. Pick who aligns with you most. Hubby will adapt

@Quintella I agree with this 100%, and I was also going to say I personally would choose Doula 1 just because of the way you talked about her. She just seems to me like she would be really good extra support 🥰🫶

@Quintella yeah. I honestly connected best with 3 but her being gone at such a crucial week left me disappointed a little. Her 2 backups seemed great, but I didn’t feel as much of a connection to one of them. And let’s not even get started on how nervous I feel about the odds that my OB won’t be the one at delivery. She’s amazing but I don’t know anyone else in her practice. I think that’s making me feel more pressure to choose the “right” person. 😅

Maybe your husband is the “right” person, unless you think you need more people there ☺️ In my case, we took a course together and he knew everything about labor and how to help me.

@Sabrina he’s definitely going to be my main coach, but I really want a doula. I’m the crisis person and he’s very much a ball of anxiety in emergency situations. I’m also very much an empath so his anxiety will inevitably rub off on me. I want someone to help both of us stay in the moment and not be overwhelmed. It’s our first and because of certain medical conditions I really want to avoid an epidural if possible. Since birthing center is off the table this feels like my best chance given the statistics.

@Eliza I understand! I just heard so many stories about doulas not being able to do too much since there were too many people in the room (nurses, partner, etc), but it really depends on the situation

@Sabrina yeah. I suppose that could happen. Though I’m hoping to labor at home till contractions are around 3-4 mins apart and at least a minute long if things start naturally. I want to be close to pushing before I actually go to the hospital.

@Eliza your OB office doesn’t have you rotate and meet all the doctors who practice?

@Quintella no, not really. I’m going to talk to my OB about it when I see her next month.

@Eliza hopefully they do and haven’t told you yet? My office has us meet the other doctors starting week 24 so we can get to know them and more importantly they get to know our wishes and stuff

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