I hate my husband

I think this is normal. Some people have unicorns for husbands while the rest of us get stuck with the nice ones that need to be reminded that we have lives outside of being a parent also…

I hated my bf during my whole pregnancy lol and as soon as I gave birth I stopped hating him

I feel your struggle and then some, lol. I don't want it to appear that I am not validating you. Our male counterparts can be clueless sometimes. However, you mentioned things in your post that my husband does not do. It may be frustrating, but this is a reminder that a few of us do not have it as good as you do. You may not need the reminder, but I wanted to state it anyways just in case.

I have this same problem . And honestly I kicked my bf out because he was doing the exact same thing . And the thought of him being able to literally do what he wants and sit on his phone majority of the time was annoying me . I made him leave because I don’t have time to teach him how to prioritize his child while I’m doing just that. It was going to stress me out so I just said forget it honestly if he cares enough to right he’ll do right until then 🤷🏽‍♀️🤷🏽‍♀️

“I wish I had the luxury of somebody reminding me that life is not the same any more”… THIS. I’m also 2 mo pp and totally share the same sentiment. It’s helped getting the baby on bottles so I could leave him for a few hours and do something for me. But it’s frustrating to have to remind him that the way we spend our time fundamentally always impacts the other now. It feels like it should be obvious (because it is). I feel like I ask permission (and plan!) for rare me time moments, and that he just takes his sometimes.

Suuuuuprr super normal. My husband and I have a wonderful relationship. He’s SO helpful and I’m so blessed! But dang postpartum rage is a THING. He’ll do everything right all day, then drop the ball once and I’m like “It’s not fair that you get to do XYZ while I’m over here breastfeeding and not sleeping. You’re just sitting there while I’m holding the mental load of the household. I need you to help more” etc etc etc I made a note on my phone called “bones to pick” and I rage on there 😂 Then if I still feel that intensely the next day, I send it to him via text (or abridge it). Helps weed out my true/actual grievances from the hormonal rage ones lol

@Alexis This is EXACTLY how I feel. I told him how I feel I need to ask vs him just getting up & leaving when he wants. He told me I don’t have to. I brought this to an older “aunt figure” in my life & she said to start doing it. I know he’s capable of taking care of our son & I am the one overthinking it lol which I am. I guess being left with him so many times has made me understand how it feels & I start to feel guilty. So, the last 2 weeks I made time to go dancing on Thursday’s & I make the weekend he has his son from his previous relationship “his weekend” while I do what I want. This past weekend was the first weekend. Friday I still ended up with him but he had him Saturday & through the night-I took him to church with me Sunday & he watched him after while I did laundry.

Sorry for the story lol

@Mel good for you for going dancing that’s awesome! And that’s good advice practically speaking from your auntie figure, but also just want to validate that you’re absolutely not “overthinking” anything. I would say you’re “thinking” it. I think as girls/women we’re socialized to be considerate of other people - their schedules, their emotions, what they need/want. Being considerate is a positive trait. Men should be more like us and not the other way around lol. BUT - we gotta do what we gotta do to get our needs met as moms, and can’t wait for men to catch up to us on a daily basis 🤷‍♀️

A friend recommended this book to me https://a.co/d/2cTXSeh

So it’s not just me?! Omg. It’s like I’m constantly telling myself to be appreciative of all he’s doing but there’s this not so little voice in my head upset that he’s not doing enough because everything annoys me! Like this is soooo easy for him because it seems he hasn’t sacrificed a single thing from his routine before baby arrived and mine has completely been derailed. It’s not fxxking fair