How do you manage your rage?

As soon as one of my kids start kicking off/whinging/crying it’s not long before I also kick off.. I think I have ADHD/Autism potentially and am awaiting assessment but in the meantime I really want to become a calmer person. I just feel like I’m made of stress and anger and there’s no way I can stop it. It’s effecting my kids and me and I really don’t want to shout anymore. It stays with me the remainder of the day and I’m just exhausted from it. I’ve been on sertraline but it didn’t really do much but stop me crying so easily. I need some calm and i want to be the calm for my kids storms, i do not want to add to it for them but i feel out of control

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I was going to say without sounding like I assuming. I don't think it's a rage problem I'm ASD and ADHD and I get over stimulated when my son screams or makes certain messes I don't handle well. I always make a conscious effort to be aware he doesn't do these things to upset me he's learning and exploring. I was on sertraline also but I have come off them since Jan this year as I'm waiting for my official assessment for medication and they don't want me true feelings to be numbed down. I would say if possible walk away. Same as a screaming toddler that is safe. Or if they're old enough to understand I'd let them know mummy is feeling over stimulated and needs a minute but that's okay

@Sophie sometimes I can handle it pretty well but most of the time it’s like my cup is full to the brim waiting for the slightest jolt to make me kick off and then I look back and I just can’t understand why I can’t chill the f out! Honestly I just want to be sedated at this point with anything available. I’ll try walking away but these little precious munchkins have a habit of following you

I completely understand lovely truly. I know it's on hidden but if you do ever need someone to message and rant to I'm I safe space. I'm asd raising asd. Melt downs are daily thing in our household from me and him 🤣

@Sophie ah thank you that’s very sweet of you and sorry you have to go through this too it’s horrific. I suspect my daughter of having ADHD too but I think 4 is too young and she’s a saint in school! X

Theyre always saints in school. Its masking. She's mirroring the other kids behaviour to fit in. It's a rubbish compliment but it is true. We are the safe space they need when they come home. They know no matter what they do we will still be here loving them when they're finished. It's just a little harder for parents like us who are late diagnosis. We've spent so long worrying about fitting in and following the rules to be normal. To be told we were never normal to begin with. It's a learning curve for you both same as for us. You're always to fail thats how we learn. My son screamed the house down at me the other day and I just had to walk off and cry. He couldn't understand why I was sad and that made him more upset 🤣 It's a mad cycle but one day it will click. You're doing brilliantly.

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