What would you do if your boyfriend was constantly dismissing your mental problems/feelings and continuing to do the things that trigger it even though you’ve talk to him about it numerous times?

I want to marry him but now I feel like I’m possibly just settling..

I couldn't live with someone like that. He can take all the steps and refuse to learn. Really? Triggers don't exist? 🤦

Nope. Save yourself. As a fellow bpd girlie you either need a partner who gets it, or you should just be single.

I think it depends on what the triggers are. I have certain things that trigger me but I understand they're my triggers and they're something I have to work through and not just expect him not to do or say certain things because that can cross the line into becoming controlling. I also have other triggers which I do expect him to 100% not do and he is respectful of this. Obviously triggers exist and he should be supportive/understanding that certain things will/do trigger you and if he's not then I'd be questioning if it's a relationship I wanted to stay in/that was good for me but it's also about understanding what triggers are 'reasonable' for people to work around.

@Alex would you mind giving some examples of reasonable and unreasonable things to request not to do or say so I have a better understanding of reasonable vs unreasonable? 😅

I'll use two of mine that bother me the most from the above. He never does it angrily at me anyway but raising his voice. I personally don't expect him to never raise his voice around me because imo that's unrealistic. Same with moving too fast either in my direction or around my face. Choking (sexually) or having/putting anything tight around my neck, big no. I expect him not to do this. But obviously it just depends on what your own personal triggers are.

I don’t have bpd but I have diagnosed ADHD, depression, anxiety and it’s been questionable if I’ve been struggling with post partum OCD. I agree with Alex. I think it completely depends on what your triggers are. For me, I had WILDLY unrealistic expectations of my husband because of the (possible) OCD. Such as: he could NEVER leave things out or forget things. If he sat on the couch he needed to refluff the pillows because it would drive me nuts if they weren’t. These things were absolutely ridiculous but in my insane whirlpool of hormones and mental illness I legitimately contemplated divorce over it, Things that he I feel are very important to my “triggers” (if I can call them that) that I really need him to make an active effort not to do are: not ask me stupid questions he knows the answer to just to get a rise out of me like “what’s baby’s diaper size?” Or really letting mess build up. Touching me when I’ve told him I’m not in the mood to be touched. Things like that