I did something bad I can’t get over it.

Don't feel shit about this. I can understand your mum being upset because your grandma has recently passed but you were talking to friends and didn't say anything wrong in my opinion.

Im a paranoid person unfortunately and full of anxiety, i always this I do something wrong and im trying to work on it

Think*

Is like I said something she didn’t want to hear

I don’t think it’s bad at all, she was your grandma so you have reason to talk about her passing to those close to you and it’s okay to it have happened unexpectedly because when those who are elderly do seem well it’s common to create an expectation as there may not have been signs xx

What you said is fine . Dont read Into your mums response. X

Thanks to all of you xxxx It was quiet unexpected yes, she was like my second mum we use to videocall each other every day. I wasn’t ready for her to go. Nobody was. 😔

And I feel like I’m not doing enough for my mum atm. I don’t know, is hard in this situation when you are a kind of person 😕

I can’t see where you said something wrong. Try not to be hard on yourself. You’re not responsible for other people’s feelings and remember you’re going through a lot right now as you’ve lost someone close to you as well. Judging by the comments I think the loss is just as hard on you as your mum. Be kind to yourself.

Thanks everyone 🥺I needed to hear this

My Grandad died 3 weeks before my son was born, so at his funeral my baby was only 6 days old and I said "it's like one out, one in" and my grandads neighbour was mortified by the comment. I say things with very dry humour to mask how I'm feeling but I can see why it came across as offensive. What you said didn't sound bad at all though! X

You said nothing wrong. She died really old. It would be an exception if she made it to 100. Sometimes really old age is a burden to the whole family. I sometimes feel blessed that I don't have my mom anymore because she had major depression and dementia. I was in so much pain seeing her suffer. I think death freed both of us. If I said it out loud, people in my family would judge me. So I keep it to myself.

It is very hard when you see someone so close you suffer in a certain way. I experienced this with my grandad, he broke he’s femore and couldn’t get the operation because his heart cony. He’s been 4 years in bed with a broken leg and then he give up because many complications were coming out in the last period. He didn’t deserve die in that way. Is was all very sad. Instead, the only thing I’m “pleased” about my grandma is that she passed in her sleep , she’s didn’t realise about anything.

And yes people grieve in different ways, I’m trough to do my best to don’t show myself upset

I don't think it's a bad thing to say tbh.

I don't think there was anything wrong with it at all. It's not a bad thing to say.

What did you say wrong?

I don’t know I just saw my mums face change in such a state and I felt so guilty

I don’t think you should feel bad and I also don’t think your mom would hold a statement like that against you.

You can’t control your mother’s feelings. What you spoke was a hope, not a slander or curse. A hope. Her heartbreak was for her mom, not you❤️

I don't understand why what you said is even a bad thing?!

Personally, I don’t think you’ve said anything insensitive. Depending on your tone and the context, I read your comment as one that says your grandma was strong and you expected her to have a long life. Was your mum upset? Has she spoken to you about it? Or are you just worrying and getting in your head about it? (I do the latter all the time!)

Not she hasn’t, she doesn’t really talk about her feeling to be honest and sometimes is hard to read her. It was a normal conversation I was actually getting a bit emotional but still trying to stay strong while talking to actually demonstrate that she had a good life and she was healthy. It was quiet unexpected. And as I previously said my personality doesn’t help much 🙁 and I get paranoid