Emotional dump
I am feeling a bit emotional and just need somewhere to express my emotions. I had preeclampsia twice, hellp syndrome with my second. Both of my babies came early as a result, and both were emergency c sections. With my second, I wasn't even awake during surgery as I had severely low platelets, so everyone missed her birth. We've decided after advice from the doctors that we're two and done as it's just not worth the risk. Both my babies are now healthy and thriving, so i am grateful for that. I can't help but think now and then that a normal pregnancy and birth story was robbed from me. I behaved so well during both pregnancies, im fairly healthy and felt fine each time up until just before my babies came. I missed feeding them for the first time, I didn't meet either of them until days after their birth, i missed them opening their eyes for the first time , their first nappy changes etc. Even though i know its not i cant help feel its my fault now and then. I'm not really looking for anything, just some people who might understand what I'm feeling.
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@Argyro that's awful. I do sometimes forget how lucky I was. Especially twice. I think because for me I didn't feel so ill it was hard to realise how bad it was
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I also delivered just before 34 weeks due to pre-e and hellp and I also had those feelings, that I did not get the chance to feel heavily pregnant , that the last weeks were robbed from me and of course I missed important “firsts” with my baby been taken to the nicu straight after birth! But then I remember how lucky we were to have this outcome ! My colleague had the same at 33 weeks and sadly was not lucky, the unthinkable happened to her baby as hellp progressed too fast. We are lucky and while we did miss a lot , we have our healthy children with us!