Debating leaving the newborn with the father once it's born.

I'm sure this was a very difficult decision for you to make. I'm sorry that things are so hard right now and I hope you are happy with whatever you end up doing.

You could report him for abuse, emotional and psychological as i understand he foes it. And he will have to fuck of.

@Cristina it's not abuse. I'm just a shit human. Each day I get more numb and care less. If I could disappear now I would.

@Cristina my ex (baby daddy) was and still is psychologically and verbally abusive towards me, but never to our daughter so he's still likely going to be getting at least some custody of her. As far as I've been told, only physical abuse or committing a crime that gets him put in prison would keep him from getting any custody.

I'm sorry you're feeling this way hon, he seems to have alot of problems if his own family doesn't invite him to things, or his own children won't speak to him unless it's for something. I hope you make the decision that you feel is right and if you leave that baby with him, I hope he cares for the child. Sending you love .

Why do you say you're a bad person? You're pregnant, so your emotions are going to be very up and down. I totally understand the feeling numb and everything. I'm happy to help talk you through your thoughts if you want to message me. Do you have any emotional support?

You are not a shit human. you are just at the end of your tether and feeling desperate. Is your daughter his child too? If so, why can you leave with her but not the baby? Can you not leave before you give birth, or do you feel disassociated to the baby? What are the reasons to leave the baby with him if he is horrible? I'm wondering because if you do, do that, you will find it harder to change your mind later and get the baby back. Please think carefully about doing that. Also, if you are dissappearing and starting a new life where he can't find you, you can do that pre-birth, which I'd argue is a lot easier....... say the baby isn't his, dont add him to the birth certificate, dissappear. To me, it sounds like you 100% should leave and dissappear, but also that you may have depression affecting your bond to your baby, and what you do could cause regret and difficulties down the line.

He'll think he can do a better job so why not have him do a better job. He's already done it twice on his own. I doubt I'll want it back. I was happy with my life before. It was a shit show of a struggle pretty much living in a freezing crack block in a mouldy flat but it was home which was an upgrade to living in the car. But we were happier. He'd find me. I don't want to be done for kidnapping. I don't mind him having it. His mum's lovely she the baby would have a nice grandmother

If he is treating you this bad while pregnant, I can only imagine postpartum when you are even more fragile. You are that babies mother and you only truely know best. 🙏

Well, I wouldn't be considering what he thinks he can do better when you know yourself. He isn't a good person by your own account. I'd be thinking about you/your kids only. Wouldn't give a shit what he thinks. Raising kids isn't just feeding, watering, housing, as you know..... you raised your daughter, didn't you, and done well enough to not think to leave her with him? And if his other kids and family don't talk to him and he treats you badly, he isn't a good father figure, is he? Also, why wouldn't he find you and your daughter if it's his daughter too, that is? What's the difference between the baby and your daughter in terms of his familial connection? You also can't be done for kidnapping the baby if you go before it's born and don't name him as the dad. Ultimately, it's your decision, obviously. I'm just playing devil's advocate as an outsider, but I think you need help to talk this through properly as the decisions you make now may haunt you, and I believe you wrote this post for a reason. X

Just disappear now and deny it’s his baby would cause a court process but it takes a long time if you deny the fact it’s his baby then they have to do dna and there’s so many ways you can prolong the process

Leaving my baby with a man you just described whom no one wants to associate with will be the last option on my mind no matter what the situation might be because it is obvious baby is too fragile to leave with such a person . Even good fathers can barely care for a new born , most mums struggle with caring for a newborn so why would you feel your baby is safe with him . I understand you are very frustrated but dumping your newborn to someone like that is like leaving her for dead which feels so unfair . We should not bring kids into the world if we can’t give them the best of life’s opportunities to thrive and he must have been like this before you got pregnant , you could have decided not to be pregnant for such a person or some other choices but leaving a newborn to someone you just described is truly heartbreaking. I hope the baby gets the very best of life as we all deserve . I wish you the best

@Ginger he supposedly could have children due to radiotherapy. He'd been tested and said they came back that he couldn't. He raised his other two children alone so he knows what he's doing. He'd love the baby.

You’re not shit and the fact that the man isn’t invited anywhere outside of you and his other two kids want nothing to do with him indicates to me he’s the problem out of the two of you. Can you run away now while pregnant? It’s not kidnapping until he’s on a birth certificate. I also think you’d think about that baby if you left it and it would make you feel worse about yourself than you already do. He’s not a good guy and he’s not a good father.